Post # 1
My fiance’s dad is paying for our rehearsal dinner, and we’re looking to try to keep costs low (ish) for him. While I can understand this, my parents are footing a large chunk of our wedding costs, and I’m a little concerned we’re offending some people with regard to who is coming to the rehearsal dinner….so here’s his plan:
-myself and fiance
-bm, moh, 3 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids
-my parents, grandparents and 2 brothers
-his dad, step-mom, and her mom (which I think is a little weird bc his dad just remarried 4 years ago…but maybe that’s just me?)
None of the guys in the wedding party have sig others, but 3 of the girls do (they all live with their S.O.s, long-term relationships…and 2 of the SO’s are good friends of both of ours). And 1 of the bridesmaids is coming from out of state for the wedding.
So my question is, do you think that it’s rude that we’re not inviting any SO’s to the rehearsal dinner? One of my girl’s bf’s said today that he’d be willing to pay for himself if he came….which made me feel kind of bad.
What do you all think of this?
Post # 3
I don’t think you have to invite them, but if you can afford it it might be nice.
Post # 4
Not sure if you have to invite them, but I agree with lynnabby that it would be nice. Could you two foot the bill for the SOs since there are only 3 of them? I know some places let you order whatever and others will let you pick 3 entrees for your guests to choose from so costs don’t get too out of control. Also, maybe have Future Father-In-Law pay for food but no alcoholic drinks since they are usually pricey or put a limit on drinks? Hope this was helpful.
Post # 5
It would definitely be nice to include the SOs, especially if you’re close to them. How fancy is this rehearsal dinner? Is it $100/plate or closer to $20?
We’re including SOs of the entire bridal party.
Post # 6
We included SOs of the bridal party too, partly bc it was a destination wedding and partly bc I wanted everyone to get to know each other. I think it would be a nice gesture to invite them. Ditto with your FI’s mum – even though his dad is hosting, if she has a partner/parent/sibling/good friend coming in for the wedding I would probably allow her to bring a guest so she doesn’t feel outnumbered by her ex’s family. That’s just me though! Family politics can get tricky 🙂
Post # 7
I totally agree on his mom having friends/her sister/whomever attending as well…I don’t want it to be a weird balance, seeing I have a big family (my sister is my MOH), and my fiance is an only child of divorced parents.
We’re talking probably aroun $75/pp. So, not bbq like we had hoped on having, but it’ll be a great night, with a great meal, and lots of family and friends that are coming into town early meeting up with us after the rehearsal dinner. (FI’s a chef, so food is by FAR the biggest overall cost for our wedding! 🙂
We’re going to see what we can work out for our prices, etc….my fiance’s mom has already given us money for our honeymoon, and our dj, and she bought FI’s tux, among other things, and she has also offered to split the costs if needed. We can also offer to pay for cocktails if needed.
Thanks so much for your thoughts! 🙂
Post # 8
I’d agree that it would be nice for them to be included, but it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t work out. I’m sure they’ll understand.
Post # 9
I could see why they’d like to be included. Since your wedding is on a Saturday and your rehersal is on a Friday – so you’ll be monopolizing most of their SO’s time for the weekend, I think it might be a nice gesture.
Post # 10
If it is financially possible, I would include the SOs of the wedding party. As an SO I would be completely understanding about being on my own for events on the day of the wedding, but more than likely would feel a little ostracized if my SO was invited to the dinner and I wasn’t, especially if I were close with the bride and groom.
I would highly recommend including them, even if it means going someplace a little bit cheaper.
Post # 11
I really think you should invite the SO’s, especially if they are in serious relationships. At least from an etiquette standpoint it would be a good idea.
Post # 12
As someone who has been both in weddings and the SO of someone who was in weddings, I think it would be really nice if you could include the SOs. There is a lot of time spent apart when you are the SO of a groomsman/bridesmaid so if they could be at the Rehearsal Dinner together, I’m sure they would really appreciate it!
Post # 13
I totally feel the same way….I’ve been in/to several weddings, but my fiance has not, and doesn’t understand why we should invite the SO’s. It started making me feel like I was crazy (or wrong) for thinking that we should invite the SO’s. We’re going to look at our menu options again, and figure it all out this weekend….and I think that I’m going to finally prevail in this. 🙂
Post # 14
Our rehearsal dinner will be about $25 a plate so its not that pricey, we are inviting all the SO’s and also my aunt and uncle that are flying in from out of state. When FI’s brother got married a few years ago, they booked the entire restaurant and had a ton ofpeople there and his dad paid for it, we are only having around 18 so i dont see why it would be a problem
Post # 15
I really think you need to invite them. Especially for anyone who is coming from out of town. They will obviously travel together and it’s unfair to expect the SO to stay alone in a hotel room for the evening. If you Father-In-Law can’t afford it you guys should offer to chip in to cover the additional people.