(Closed) Nevermind

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

still rude.  regardless of whether or not you have an actual rehearsal, the dinner is a thank you for taking the time and energy to be in your wedding party.  if you can’t afford to host one, i would recommend not having anything at all.

Post # 4
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@danaemarie:  It still is rude, because it’s still an assumed rehearsal dinner even if you’re not calling it that. Why not skip the dinner? Just do the breakfast?

Post # 5
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think you can host anything, but I don’t necessarily think it would be rude if you just tell people “We’re going to XYZ for dinner/drinks/apps/whatever, if you want to come hang out with us you’re welcome to do so”. Don’t send formal invitations, and make sure people know you’re not hosting. 

We are hosting a rehearsal dinner, but I’d also like to have some activities for OOT guests during their stay. We can’t afford to pay for people’s meals all weekend (though we’re paying as often as we can), so we’ll probably have some “get togethers” that we’re not hosting, but just inviting people to join us out if they wish.

Post # 6
Member
46128 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Still rude. You wouldn’t be “providing” it if they are paying for it. Surely a breakfast has to be less expensive than dinner ?

Post # 7
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had a friend who did this.  Her rehearsal dinner was earlier in the day, and they had a formal rehearsal lunch.  She also invited people to a restaurant/bar that night for a night out.  They made it pretty clear that we would be paying for our food/drinks and left it optional.  It was just a way for everyone to hang out it get to know one another. I acutually had a really good time that night, and didn’t once think it was rude that I had to pay for my own meal and drinks; especially since that was already provided to me earlier in the day.

Post # 8
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@danaemarie:  So then why are you asking a question about a rehearsal dinner? I don’t mean to be snarky, but if you’re just asking your friends to come to dinner (not expecting them too), and there’s no mention of the wedding, than it’s not rehearsal dinner and there’s no need for this post, asking about a psuedo rehearsal dinner.

Post # 9
Member
46128 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@danaemarie:  “What we have here is a failure to communicate” (for those of you who don’t recognize this quote, it’s from Cool Hand Luke).

If you are suggesting that people might like to have dinner at a certain place and time, you can certainly put that out there, but it has nothing to do with a rehearsal dinner.

 

Post # 10
Member
12816 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, it’s rude.  You shouldn’t host anything without paying for it.  Honestly, I don’t invite someone over to my house without having cheese and crackers out, let alone inviting people out for something related to my wedding.  As a guest, I’d be a little put off going out on any pre-wedding celebration and having to take out my wallet.

Post # 11
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

So you are having a morning rehearsal followed by a hosted breakfast?  That works.

If you want to go out to dinner the night before the wedding, that has nothing to do with your rehearsal and therefore is not a rehearsal dinner.  I think it would be okay to put it out there (word of mouth only) that you and FI will be dining at X restaurant at X time and would love to see anybody who wants to stop by.

Post # 12
Member
2823 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@danaemarie:  I get what you are saying. We are having a rehearsal lunch where we are providing lunch for all of our guests & wedding party. In addition to that we are having a welcome dinner. The welcome dinner guests will be paying for themselves. This is completely seperate then the wedding rehearsal and guests are not require to come. We just figured it would be fun to get everyone together since people are coming in a few days before the wedding & we’d have to all eat anyways, we could all eat together. We didn’t send invitations or say we are hosing it though. We just used word of mouth. We are also having a destination wedding so everyone is flying in to hang out before the wedding!

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