Post # 1
So my fiance and I are starting to think about our rehearsal dinner venue. We will have about 15- 20 people max. Since the groom’s parents are already conributing a lot towards the wedding is it fair to ask them to host the rehearsal dinner too? We are thinking of maybe having it jointly hosted by both parents? Or maybe we may just take this on our selves.
What did you do for yours? What are your thoughts on who should host?
p.s. we were going to maybe to a restuarant but are thinking maybe a BBQ or cookout would be more cost effective.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t ask them since they are already contributing. Give it another month or so and casually mention how you need to start planning the rehearsal dinner, if they say something about hosting it then great but if not ask for some advice and plan it yourself. With the way the world is today its hard to make a clear decision on who should host what, these days it really comes down to the bride and groom hosting the events for their wedding and then being grateful when someone offers their help.
If they end up hosting it for you it’s up to them to decided what to serve, if you host it, plan it within your budget.
Post # 4
FI’s parents aren’t really in the financial position to help us financially with the wedding. They might end up paying for the photographer, but as of now my parents are paying for everything, which includes the rehearsal dinner. Our situation is a little different, though, because the rehearsal dinner is also the welcome dinner and just about everyone from out of town will be invited (approx 100 people!). Also, these people are all relatives from my side, only one OOT guest will be from FI’s side – his grandmother. So it just seemed fair anyway for my parents to pay for it. If it was just dinner at a restaurant for 15-20 people, it might be a different story.
My advice is before you talk to FIs parents about hosting, try to get an idea of how much it’s going to cost. That way, you can know what you’re talking about. If you do the BBQ, it should be much cheaper, and maybe they won’t mind at least contributing something towards the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 5
@alyssaC: Thanks! This is good advice. I was almost thinking of doing the same thing but wasn’t sure which route would be the best.
@starz88962: Good idea! I had thought about creating a budget and presenting it to all involved to see what they may want to do. Otherwise if it is a BBQ we could always have each party contribute to certain parts of the meal.
Post # 6
It’s not cool to ask them to host. So you plan as if you are paying… and if there is an offer for them to host, graciously accept.
Post # 7
I’d wait for them to offer. FI’s parents are more than able to host our’s, but I didn’t want to come out and ask so I waited for them to bring it up. I agree with a PP that you could just casually mention it and see if they respond and offer to take care of it.
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Both of our parents are in no position to pay for any portion of our wedding (save my mom for my wedding dress and my sisters’ BM dresses), so we are paying for the entire shindig ourselves. Our rehearsal and RD will be in the same location as the cocktail hour for the wedding and will be about 25 people. We pushed it back from 4 to 7 so that they can see the Magic Kingdom fireworks outside the patio!
Post # 9
Thanks bees! Here is another question on this- is it okay to not have a rehearsal dinner? I say no but FI is wondering if we can just skip it all together.