Post # 1
I want to keep the rehearsal dinner to just bridal party members and close family. (It is being catered and held at my in-laws house) My future mother in law and father in law want to invite all of their out of town guests, family, and neighbors! AND told me to keep my list small because my family does not get along well with each other. The last thing I want is some HUGE party…The bridal party and close family would be 50 as it is!
It is a rehearsal dinner…not a welcoming party.
My fiance thinks that his parents can just invite people over after the dinner…around 9 or 10…which would mean everyone would be up partying all night and dragging themselves around on the wedding day =( NOT WHAT I WANT
What do I do?????
Post # 3
Rehearsal dinner means wedding party ONLY. No extra friends or family. Only those that play a role in the wedding.
Are your FILs paying for the dinner? If they are, then I’m not sure you have much say. Money seems to rule this country, so I’m sorry it’s come down to that.
We ended up opting for the welcome dinner, so we could invite all the OOT family and immediate family members, so there was no question about sides. Not suggesting, just an example.
Post # 4
@GeorgiaBride5: I appreciate that. Its just that his family is big on parties and drinking, and I can see people getting too carried away and things going badly. I wanted to have the opportunity to use that dinner to thank people for their help and hand out gifts. Now it will turn into a pre-reception and I will end up using all that time that I was going to use for “thank yous” and “relaxation with close friends and family” on mingling with people. PEOPLE that I have NEVER met… I don’t like the idea of spending the rehearsal dinner and night before I get married with a bunch of strangers…
Post # 5
@weddingbelle87: Are your in laws paying? unfortunately, if your FIL’s are hosting, they get to invite whoever they want. Did you and your FI mention to them that you would prefer something small? I don’t think it was very fair of them to tell you to keep your guest list small, your family and guests should all be welcomed equally as theirs.
Post # 6
@misschickpea: My fiance agrees with me. They never ran this huge party past either of us. About a month ago I sat down with his mom and we figured it would just be bridal party and close family (parents, grand parents). But now it has turned into a big party… These people DrInK, and I can just see someone being sick the next day at the church…
Yeah I was really insulted when I was told to keep my list small yet they are inviting TONS of people. The only “friends” of mine that are going are bridesmaids, and they are inviting ALL of their friends…its MY wedding…not very fair…
Post # 7
Out of curiousity, who is paying for the actual wedding? If your parents are (or at elast doing a sizable part), you could always counter with “well, my parents invited all of your people to attend the wedding, so it would be nice courtesy to extend the invite to my family as well.”
However, I think this “rehearsal party” is pretty inappropriate as a rehearsal dinner. That should be limited to close friends and family.
If they want to have an after party to welcome their guests, like a mini family reunion, it’s within their rights- but you don’t have to go, and if they do get drunk and sick, it will only reflect badly on themselves, not you.
Post # 8
@Apple_Blossom: My fiance and I are paying for the wedding on our own. My “parents” are grandparents…so they are on a limited income.
I know that it would reflect poorly on them for being sick…but if someone gets “sick” and I see, smell, or hear it… I will too, and I refuse to be sick on my wedding day