Rehearsal Dinner

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Rehearsal dinner means wedding party ONLY.  No extra friends or family.  Only those that play a role in the wedding.

Are your FILs paying for the dinner?  If they are, then I’m not sure you have much say.  Money seems to rule this country, so I’m sorry it’s come down to that.

We ended up opting for the welcome dinner, so we could invite all the OOT family and immediate family members, so there was no question about sides.  Not suggesting, just an example.

Post # 5
4015 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@weddingbelle87:  Are your in laws paying? unfortunately, if your FIL’s are hosting, they get to invite whoever they want. Did you and your FI mention to them that you would prefer something small? I don’t think it was very fair of them to tell you to keep your guest list small, your family and guests should all be welcomed equally as theirs.

Post # 7
2172 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Out of curiousity, who is paying for the actual wedding?  If your parents are (or at elast doing a sizable part), you could always counter with “well, my parents invited all of your people to attend the wedding, so it would be nice courtesy to extend the invite to my family as well.”

However, I think this “rehearsal party” is pretty inappropriate as a rehearsal dinner.  That should be limited to close friends and family.

If they want to have an after party to welcome their guests, like a mini family reunion, it’s within their rights- but you don’t have to go, and if they do get drunk and sick, it will only reflect badly on themselves, not you.

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