Rehearsal dinner

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
4402 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@cbco:  Anyone in the wedding party, immediate family, and out-of-town guests. People will debate about the out-of-town guests part, but it’s polite to provide dinner for the folks who’ve traveled. You can always invite more people than I’ve listed, of course, but this is where I’d start. 

Post # 4
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

we’re doing a DW so we’re inviting everyone and having it as a ‘Welcome BBQ’

With my BFF’s wedding it was the wedding party and SO/Families and then close family only. 

Post # 6
37 posts
  • Wedding: January 2014

We are having a semi-destination wedding (at a ski resort in the Colorado Rockies, most of our guests will be flying in, renting a car, driving 2 hours from the airport, etc.) but we decided to do two separate night-before events.  The rehearsal dinner includes our parents, siblings, and all members of the wedding party + their dates/SO/spouse (which for us comes out to 30 people total).  We are hosting the rehearsal dinner early at 5:30pm so that we then can get to our event being held for everyone – the welcome drinks and appetizers which is for all invited guests and will be around 8pm.  We figured there is no way to coordinate having all out of town guests arrive that early when travel is cumbersome and we had a limited budget for our night-before festivities.

Post # 7
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@cbco:  It’s supposed to be the bridal party and their spouses/fiances only, plus your parents. But let me tell you, fi’s family has made this wedding part II. There are 60 ppl coming to my RD. At first I was pissed but they’re paying for it so I gave up the fight on that one!

Post # 8
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think the RD is one of those weird evolution things.  We’re staying very small with just our bridal party and their SO’s, our parents, and our 2 readers.  I have been to weddings though where the RD is open to everyone so I think it depends on what you want & the budget.

Post # 9
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@cbco:  The original purpose of the reherasal dinner was to thank the wedding party for their participation and ensure that all members of the immediate family had met each other prior to the wedding.

That would include, wedding party and their SO’s, anyone with a role in the wedding, such as readers, etc and their SO’s, siblings of the bride and groom, parents of the bride and groom and often grandparents of the bride and groom.

There is no “need” or ” should” as far as the out of town guests re concerned. This started with someone with a large enough budget deciding to invite OOT’s. There is no more obligation for you to provide dinner for them than there is for you to provide breakfast for them the next day.

If you have the budget and want to include them, go ahead. It will then not be a smaller more intimate affair with speeches and gifts to thank the wedding part, but more of an evening social. For some couples, inviting the OOT’s means inviting almost everyone and most budgets won’t accomodate that large a party the day before the wedding.

If you like, and have the budget, you could have a smaller dinner, then invite OOT’s to join you after for drinks or coffee and dessert.

Post # 10
2740 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

At a minimum, immediate families (parents, siblings, and grandparents) and bridal party, plus SOs of any of the above.  And parents of any child attendants.

Inviting OOT guests is optional.  If you only have a few it would be nice to include them, but if you have a lot there is no obligation to host what would essentially be a second wedding reception.

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