Post # 1
Hi! My FI and I are both “encore” so we are paying for the wedding ourselves. My parents have offered to contribute to the rehearsal dinner- but it’s a pretty limited budget. I’m wondering 1) who you included in the invite list for the dinner and 2) is it ok to have a cash bar at the dinner? (our wedding itself will be a hosted bar).
I’d love your thoughts!
Post # 3
We’re only having our families and those directly involved with the wedding (and their SOs). That should be 23 people, including us.
FI’s parents are hosting, so I don’t know what the alcohol situation is going to be for ours, but if we were hosting I would probably provide a couple types of beer and wine only. It wouldn’t cost much for 23 people, and if they want anything else, I think it’s acceptable for them to pay.
Post # 4
Ours was hosted at my aunt/uncle’s house near our slightly out of town venue. They provided all the meat for the dinner and my parents paid for the sides and I think both sets of parents brought some wine/beer.
We invited only the aunt/uncle, our parents and wedding party (siblings and their spouses were in the party, and our friends happened to be single/spouses unavailable). We didn’t have flower girl/ring bearer, so it was just 15 of us.
Post # 5
Only the bridal party, our parents, fg (our daughter) and the bridal parties significant others. We just had my sisters her inlaws paid. It was about 20 people. They provided. A sit down dinner, beer and wine. It was really nice. If anyone wanted hard alcohol (the grooms men did a shot to kickoff the night) they paid for it themselves.
Post # 6
@sunshinebee: We’re inviting everyone (since everyone will be out-of-towners). My sister had a huge fight with my parents for her recent wedding. My parents claimed that everyone involved in the wedding and any OOT guest should be invited.
I actually kind of think that all OOT guests should be invited. I mean, they travel to get their and then the night before the wedding they just have to sit in their hotels alone? I think it’s a little weird, personally, but I could totally understand not wanting to break the bank on the rehearsal dinner. If you can’t afford it, don’t worry about it. If you can, invite them!
Oh and, cash bar for a rehearsal dinner is, in my opinion, totally okay.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia
We are hosting our own rehearsal dinner. It will just be wedding party and immediate family (plus wedding parties spouses).
It will be about 40 people.
We are just hosting beer, wine and soda. No hard alcohol. If they want that, they can order from the restaurant, but we will not be footing the bill.
Also, I think we luck out bc our rehearsal in on Thursday, so not all of our out of town guests will be in town yet.
Post # 8
Instead of a cash bar I would honestly just suggest getting a couple boxes of wine. Seriously. I have found that people always prefer free alcohol over paying, even if it’s not the expensive stuff.
We just did wraps, soup, boxed wine and a couple cases of beer.
Post # 9
I appreciate all the advice! Regarding the bar… I’m torn because we won’t be having it at home, so obviously the alcoholic beverages cost quite a bit at a restaurant than just buying it a the liquor store. I’m thinking maybe we buy the first drink or something along those lines?? Most likely we will be having the dinner at a southwestern restaurant, so margaritas might make more sense than wine??? I wish money was no object! 🙂 (don’t we all)
Post # 10
My FI and I are paying, so only our bridesmaids and groomsmen (10 total), their SO’s (we’re expecting about 5), our parents (4) and maybe a few other people if we go super cheap- pizza on the beach!!
Post # 11
95% of our guests are out of towners – FI’s side is traveling in to NYC from the UK and mine is coming in from all over the US. We are having a rehearsal dinner with just the wedding party and SOs and immediate family, about 40 people. We are having it at a restaurant in Brooklyn that we absolutely adore and will offer wine and beer throughout the three hour booking. We’ll probably throw a credit card behind the bar in case people want mixed drinks. The dinner will wrap up earlyish (8:30) and we’ve reserved space at a neighborhood bar for everyone to come join us if they wish.
Post # 12
The rehearsal dinner is to thank your family and friends for being part of your wedding and all that goes along with it. Personally, I think its rude to invite them to dinner and expect them to pay for their own drinks. I think its fine if you just want to serve beer and wine, or just margaritas with well alcohol and they need to pay for upgraded drinks.
Post # 13
DHs parents paid for the dinner and told everyone they had to pay for their own alcohol. Wedding in Cleveland and we live in Texas = lots of out of town guests, so they were all invited. Ended up with like 50 people at a British pub with great food and everyone was stuffed and happy!
by the way, I wanted pizza and pasta and they said NO WAY!
Post # 14
We had our parents, siblings, and wedding party + their spouses. There ended up being about 18 of us. We held it at my parents and had submarine sandwiches, tons of salads, baked goods, etc. Bought some wine and then beer and pop for the coolers for people to help themselves to. Doesn’t have to be a lot of money to be a good time!
Post # 15
My family does all family at the rehearsal dinner, plus wedding party/spouses… so ours is going to be like 60 people. We wanted to do a cash bar because my fiance and I are paying for it ourselves AND it’s in the afternoon but my dad is flipping out about it. We think it’s not a big deal since it’s an early dinner, but we’ll probably either do drink tickets or wine/champagne only.
I think ALL out of town guests is overkill… for us, all out of town guests on top of the family and wedding party would be 100ish people. Maybe around 130 (it depends if “three hours away” counts as out of town). That would be like half the cost of the wedding, lol. Just our 60 people is already going to be 5-6k.
Post # 16
We are having our rehearsal dinner at a buffalo wild wings. I don’t think a cash bar is needed for a rehearsal dinner, unless it’s HUGE. We’ll pay for any drinks our guests would like during the dinner.
We are only inviting our parents, siblings, bridesmaids, best men, DJ and officiant. Maybe 13 people in total?