Rehearsal Dinner and bringing FI

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We had a lot of people at the rehearsal dinner that weren’t at the church. I don’t think it matters if he’s there if he doesn’t play a role.

Post # 3
716 posts
Busy bee

If he’s not in the wedding party, then it’s better if he’s not at the church. 

He won’t be bored, you won’t have to worry about having to entertain him, the bride won’t have to worry about all these observers making noise and causing distractions.

Post # 4
3432 posts
Sugar bee

Orchid71:  Nope, I’ve usually been invited to the rehearsal dinner but not the rehearsal, so I don’t think it’s rude at all.

Post # 5
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I don’t think that’s rude or tacky at all! In fact, like others have said, he’d probably just get in the way if he was at the church. If you’re really worried, you could ask the bride if it’s okay, but I’m guessing it’ll be fine since she asked for a head count for dinner – not for the church + dinner 🙂

Post # 6
2501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Orchid71:  nope i had all my bm’s significant others meet us at the restaurant after. I think its kind of standard…

Post # 7
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Not rude at all!  We told SO’s of the bridal party they didn’t have to come to the church, but could if they want to.  I wouldn’t have minded at all if one of my BMs SO didn’t come to the church.

Post # 8
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Orchid71:  he isn’t in the wedding party so it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t go to the church. 

Post # 9
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Orchid71:  Not tacky, just tell the bride that he’s working late but will make it for dinner. He doesn’t need to be there to watch you guys practise walking down the aisle.

Post # 10
42117 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The less people at the church the better.

Post # 11
3623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Orchid71:  No– I actually told all of the SOs, don’t bother coming to the rehersal, we will meet you at dinner! Two came (only because they were OOT and wanted to figure out how to get to the church). I would just run it by the bride, but she will be fine with it.

It is also perfectly fine for them to skip it if they need to work. For my BFF’s wedding, DH had to work until 6 and his office was 3 hours away from the wedding. There was simply no way he could come (he couldn’t take leave due to his project). I had a blast and he saw me at the wedding. The bride was fine with it (not like she had a choice, he could not get there before 9 as much as he wanted to)

Post # 12
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Last wedding I was in it was requested that only the wedding party come to the actual rehearsal but anyone can come to the dinner afterwards. Just warn the bride I think it’s fine

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