Rehearsal Dinner Decor - FMIL's Jurisdiction or Mine?

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Rehearsal Dinner Decor - FMIL's Jurisdiction or Mine?

posted 2 years ago in Parties
1 Members Subscribed To Topic
poll: Who is making the RD decor decisions for your wedding?
You. : (4 votes)

10 %

Your FMIL. : (25 votes)

61 %

We're taking the RD venue as is and not decorating. : (12 votes)

29 %

Someone else. : (0 votes)

41 votes

Member

218 posts

Helper bee

LegallyBlondeBride July 30, 2010 Chapel Hill, NC & Houston, TX

FMIL has planned out everyyy detail to the rehearsal dinner decor, without asking me about anything, but rather showing me what she has already purchased. I wasn't really disturbed by this (even though I never ever would have picked a "grapes and diamonds" theme) but after we left, FI was in shock. He asked why I was okay with her taking over, why I wasn't decorating it, etc. She is paying for half of it, his Dad and step-mom are paying for the other half.

So whose jurisdiction is the rehearsal dinner decor?

2 years ago

1,681 posts

Bumble bee

Soon2beeMrsM October 2010 NY

Is FMIL paying for it? If so I would let her have it. You have enough to think about before your wedding. Unless she is making it really offensive, ugly etc I'd let it slide. If your FI is really upset about it let him say something to her. Why stir the pot ya know?

2 years ago

Hostess

10,729 posts

Sugar
Beekeeper

crebre80 November 20, 2010 Baton Rouge, LA

I totally agree, if she is paying for it, it should be her decision...

2 years ago

2,050 posts

Buzzing bee

Anonymous

If she's paying for it, let her do it. In fact, I'm glad it's one less thing I have to worry about.

2 years ago

Member

947 posts

Busy bee

mimosa May 29, 2010 NC

My FMIL is paying for it, so whatever she decides is fine with me.

2 years ago

Member

1,221 posts

Bumble bee

Tonya2010 September 11, 2010

Honestly I have no idea. But I am just thinking about other events and usually the host takes care of the menu and decor. That being said, the party is in your honor and I would think that your input would be appreciated. In her defense maybe she thinks that she is doing you a favor by taking care of it without bothering you about it since you are planning a wedding.

2 years ago

Member

218 posts

Helper bee

LegallyBlondeBride July 30, 2010 Chapel Hill, NC & Houston, TX

I edited the post to say that she and my FI's dad and step mom are splitting it.

Thats kind of the policy I was taking, that it was one less thing for me to worry about, but he got me to thinking. Plus, grapes and diamonds? lol.

2 years ago

Member

1,196 posts

Bumble bee

thefuturemrsgibbs June 12, 2010 Northern California

Traditionally the rehearsal dinner is paid by the FI's side of the family. If they are paying for it that means they get to decorate and so forth. So that you can just come and enjoy and not be stressed out. Congrats!

2 years ago

Member

6,643 posts

Bee Keeper

artbee February 28, 2010

we're having it at my fi's parents house. as far as i know there won't be decorating, just food. and i don't know what food. but i don't care, i trust them, and i don't want to make any more decisions! plus, she knows me. she had to pick colors for flowers for temple the other day, and she chose pink for me! so i'm not worried about anything.

2 years ago

10.

Member

2,168 posts

Buzzing bee

cannotwait February 1, 2009 TX

honestly, I knew very little about the RD before I showed up, and by then I didn't care almost no matter what, ha

2 years ago

11.

Member

222 posts

Helper bee

Neato anedo August 2011

I have always been under the impression that the rehearsal dinner is sort of like a gift from the groom's parents. Subsequently I believe that the decisions should be left up to them. If you were paying for it yourself, it would be a different story. But this is their "gift", so let them give you what they see fit :)

2 years ago

12.

Member

1,346 posts

Bumble bee

gocubbies Illinois

We are not decorating. I didn't know you were supposed to?

Although ours is just a cookout in FMIL's backyard, so no decorations really needed anyway

2 years ago

13.

Member

2,627 posts

Sugar bee

LittlestBirds July 24, 2010 Seattle, WA

Not sure why FI was so shocked, I mean, it's the rehearsal dinner, not the wedding. It's not that big a deal what it looks like!

It hadn't occurred to me that decorating for the rehearsal dinner was a "thing." FILs picked a nice, swank little Italian restaurant near our venue and we have the whole upstairs loft reserved. I can't imagine any decorating is warranted.

I agree with the others, don't worry about the decor for the rehearsal dinner and just let FMIL do her thing.

2 years ago

14.

Hostess

7,632 posts

Bumble
Beekeeper

MightySapphire

Hosts and Hostesses usually do all the decor. Just like your MOH would set up, design, and buy everything for your shower. Your FMIL and your FSMIL/FFIL should decide everything for the RD. It doesn't have to match your wedding ideas anyway, it's a party thrown by them for you.

2 years ago

15.

Member

5,823 posts

Bee Keeper

crayfish September 11, 2010 Berkeley, CA

It wouldn't even occur to me that someone other than myself would be making the decisions about decor or food for the rehearsal dinner...but I guess we are doing our own thing in all respects. A burden and a blessing!

2 years ago

16.