- 6 years ago
Hi everyone, thank you for letting a future MIL post here! My son and future DIL are getting married in about 2 months, a destination wedding, where both of them grew up.
My dilemma however is, rehearsal dinner, and so many out of town family members expecting to be a part of this dinner, when my husband and I simply cannot afford it.
We have already helped out more than a groom’s side is expected to traditionally, and now we have the expense of taking off from our jobs, travel costs, hotel cost, food cost, wedding gift, and rehearsal dinner.
I originally had fully planned on including grandparents, but the grandparents then insisted my sister and her husband and 4 young adult children attend the rehearsal dinner with us, which in turn, my DIL’s mother requested we include her other children and relatives as well, which would equal a lot more than my side- making this a very expensive event for my husband and I, more than we can really afford.
Grandma is insisting that my sister’s family cannot possibly go do something on their own that night, that their feelings would be hurt, so this has left me with not knowing which way to turn.
As it stands right now, my husband and I will be paying for a lot of relatives on DIL’s side of the family- Mother and stepdad, possibly the stepmom, her brother and fiancee, ring bearer and parents.
On top of this of course we have bride and groom, bridesmaids with their dates, groomsmen with theirs.
If everyone had been ok with just grandparents and my sisters family of 6, I might have been able to handle it, but when the other side might then possibly add a few more as well, I’m feeling I’ve been thrown in the middle of it all and made to choose sides.
On the other hand, I realize this is the bride’s day, and it’s her wishes to not include more than we already have, and I have to respect that.
Still, in the meantime, grandparents are now hurt and feeling very left out.
If we were having this in a town where all of us still lived, it would not be this big of a deal, but in a destination wedding, everyone is an out of town guest, so I also feel this is a different situation than others?
Anyone have this situation? Please share your thoughts and your own stories with me, I appreciate it! Thank you!