Post # 1
I’m having a disagreement with my FMIL about what I think is an etiquette issue. She is planning the whole rehearsal dinner and I’ve tried to stay out of her way, but she recently mentioned she and my FFIL are going to present my fiance and I with a “big gift” AT the dinner. I don’t think that is appropriate, since no one else is publicly giving us gifts. I think other family members will feel awkward that they gave their gifts subtly but my groom’s parents made a presentation about it. Overall, I don’t see the need for an audience for gift giving. Any thoughts on how I handle it?
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Agreed that this could make other guests feel very uncomfortable. At our RD, we gave the bridal party gifts, but at the end of the night- it wasn’t done as a “show.”
I don’t think YOU should handle it, though. FI’s family- HE needs to address this. Let him fight this battle.
Post # 4
I think it kind of depends on WHAT exactly the gift is.
I mean if its a large cash amount, or something, I can see how that would make guests uncomfortable.
If it’s more of a sentimental type gift.. family heriloom, something special for your house, or something, I’m sure your guests wouldn’t mind.
Post # 5
If you tell her no she might feel like you’re being ungrateful.. Have your fi bring it up to her if she still insists, id let it go
Post # 6
I don’t think it should be that big of a deal — they’re hosting the rehearsal dinner, so it’s their party.
Post # 7
As long as it isn’t money it should be ok. MIL gave us a canvased picture board for autographing. I would rather have gotten it the morning of, but she likes when people fawn over something “creative” she did, so I let her go.
The wanted us to open all of our cards the day after and we put a complete stop to that nonsense.
Post # 8
@fayettebride13: just let them do it. It the only thing the grooms parents really get to take ownership of. Be glad they want yall to get married and let them have this moment
Post # 9
It might make you uncomfortable, but as PP’s have said – it’s their party, let them do what they want. If anything, have you FI speak with them and just ask that if it is money they don’t do it publicly.
Post # 10
I say just let them do it….
Post # 11
I say whatever it is, let them do it! If they want to give you a gift of any kind people should be happy and excited for you no matter what it is!
Post # 12
If you’re letting FMIL plan/host the RD, then let her do it, and leave it alone. She shouldn’t even have told you about this “big gift.” There is enough for you to do with all of the wedding planning, appreciate your MIL taking some of the stress of planning out of your hands.
If her actions make others uncomfortable, that’s her problem, not yours. You cannot control the actions of others.