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REHEARSAL DINNER do I have to invite everyone from out of town?

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
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    ju1244    11/1/08   New York City

    I was always of the understanding that I had to invite every out of town guest to my rehearsal dinner...any input?  Since we dont live in our wedding city, that would basically mean EVERYONE!  What can I do? Also my rehearsal is LATE we will finish at 8PM any ideas?  Thanks!

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    1. REHEARSAL DINNER do I have to invite everyone from out of town? :  wedding Img paperlanternstore_2071_18697056.gif (17 KB, 114 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    MsVanessa    June 27, 2009   SoCal

    We're only inviting our parents, brothers/sisters, and the wedding party. It would be super sweet to invite everyone who is considered out of town, but we look at it as a night to be with the people who we are closest to and are playing a significant role in our day. Why don't you skip dinner and have cocktails and appetizers at a restaurant? Especially with it being so late and all.

     
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    ladysu    9.1.2007   Chicago

    I understand where you're coming from since 75% of our guests were from out of town...

    for us - we just invited family, wedding party and significant others and any kids, and that alone was 60 people.  It was like a mini reception in itself.  For our OOT guests, we had OOT bags prepared for them and many ideas for them to explore the city of Chicago and let them do things on their own.

     The way that my husband and I viewed the rehearsal dinner is that it was a chance for us to privately thank the ones close to us with gifts and a little meal for everything that they've done for us (since we also paid for the rehearsal dinner on top of the whole wedding)

     
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    Joanne    May 2008 (Michigan) & July 2008 (Boston)   Boston, MA

    we were having our wedding rehearsal early in the afternoon and then having a rehearsal lunch for our parents, ushers, readers, and the rest of the bridal party. my parents are throwing a dinner for our families and oot guests who are families at their home.  later that night after dinner (since it's july 4th) i plan on meeting with many of the oot guests for fireworks and drinks at a fun bar in the city (boston). 

     
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    dahlia      

    The only people who need to be invited are the people actually involved in the wedding- this would typically be parents, siblings, bridal party and their significant others.  Grandparents could be as well, if they are going to be specially seated. 

    Beyond that, no one else needs to be invited.

     
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    wuerin    8/23/2008  

    we are in the same boat.  We are inviting parents, brothers/sisters, BMs/GMs, readers and significant others.  That alone is almost 60 people! There is a fun piano bar around the corner from the host hotel so we are putting a note in the OOT bags letting people know that we will be there later in the night if they want to stop by. 

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    rebecca    September 13, 2008  

    I left it up to my FMIL, and she decided to invite the bridal party and their guests, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. It's more than I would like to see (I really like rehearsal dinners being a nice way to visit with close family and friends before the wedding), but I can't really do anything about it!

    I would suggest cocktails after dinner for those from out of town, but if you're eating at 8PM, you won't be done until late and it probably won't work. What if you turn your rehearsal dinner into a cocktail party? Then you can invite more people.

     
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    jma19      

    We're only inviting bridal party and significant others, and those involved in the wedding, and it's 40 people. But we're telling everyone else to meet us at the restaurant/bar after the rehearsal dinner so we can still hang out and see people before the wedding.

     
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    Anonymous      

    We're only having family, bridal party, and significant others at ours.  It's sort of our Chinese banquet, so family and very close friends are expected.  But we are having a "happy hour" of sorts for people to meet and get together back at the hotel afterwards, which all are invited.

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    1. REHEARSAL DINNER do I have to invite everyone from out of town? :  wedding Img 3n13k43m35T45R85Sa99h083fc9602de5152b..jpg (7.3 KB, 58 downloads) 2 years old
    2. REHEARSAL DINNER do I have to invite everyone from out of town? :  wedding Img 41QvDOQNA1L._SL500_AA280_.jpg (35.3 KB, 50 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    suzanno    7/12/08   Richland, WA

    Actually you don't have to invite everybody from out of town, although it's a nice gesture.  A lot of our out of town guests are driving, not flying, and so won't arrive until sometime the morning of the wedding (which is in the early evening).  Of those who are arriving earlier, we are inviting those out of town guests who are travelling alone, and a few that we particularly want to spend more time with.  We are letting everybody else know what nice restaurants are in the area, and where anybody else they know is staying, so that they can make plans with other guests if they like.  A significant number of out out of town friends have other friends in the area, and so quite frankly want to take some of their trip to see them (don't want to spend the whole time with us!!)

     

     
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    ju1244    11/1/08   New York City

    So much great input...so would it be weird if I gave snack boxes to the OOT guests, had a pre-rehearsal dinner for the wedding party and a cocktail party for everyone after?  My FI feels like people are schlepping all the way to our wedding and we are obligated to entertain and feed them.  Mind you we are paying for absolutely everything,  My only fear is that a pre-rehearsal dinner will lack some of the spirit of a real one (without time constraints)  

     
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    vyeta7      

    I would totally go with that option ju1244. I've been to a rehearsal lunch too and it was really fantastic and relaxed.  I also wouldn't worry about the snackboxes, just give guest a list of restaurants near the hotels where they will be staying and plan a cocktail reception nearby as well.

     
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    JCM9608    September 6, 2008  

    ju1244,

    It isn't necessary to invite everyone. I love the option of providing snack boxes to OOT guests and perhaps inviting individual travelers from out of town (or who won't know anybody else that is traveling or already there). 

    We're only inviting bridal party, family members, etc. Close friends. 

     
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    lharbin85    August 9, 2008   Augusta, GA

    we are inviting out of town guests...but only the ones that are close family such as my half brothers and thier wives, grandparents and aunts and uncles plus our immediate families, readers, bridal party...flower girls and ring bearers and thier families...its going to be about 50-60 people! Make sure your FMIL and FFIL know to expect this many...I think mine were a little shocked! some of the family from out of town did decline thier invitation to the rehersal dinner for some reason...i guess they didn't feel comfortable going? so who knows?

    we are making welcome baskets too for the other out of town guests... 

    good luck!

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    1. REHEARSAL DINNER do I have to invite everyone from out of town? :  wedding Img my_dress.jpg (61.3 KB, 53 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    KateMW    8.30.03   Birmingham

    I think you can do family and bridal party, but if you don't want to invite anybody else, you have to be across the board in that. KWIM?

     

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