(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner Drama….. Long, sorry

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Honestly? I think asking your mother to host the rehearsal in a neutral location would be best. It is kind of her to try and make amends for her past wrong doings but if your father can’t attend because of it, then I dont think thats fair. I guess I might be biased as my mother also abandoned my sister and I when I was born and my father raised us. I would be very upset if he didnt attend my rehearsal and I would want to make sure he felt comfortable if he did.

Its sad that they cant put their differences aside for your special day but it is what it is I guess. Your father had an important role in raising you to be the woman you are today and you have every right to be upset that he wont attend because of this. Talk to your mother.

Post # 4
Member
46159 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think your Mom is being insensitive and your Dad is just plain wrong.

I would ask your Mom to move the RD to a neutral location. It doesn’t necessarily have to be more expensive. People would be happy with pizza and beer.

You Dad really just needs to get over it. If she left when you were 7 and you are old enough to get married, your Dad is harboring ancient anger. I would ask him if he would consider helping to cover the extra costs incurred by moving the dinner to a restaurant.

I am divorced and me ex hurt me terribly. We do however, behave graciously when in each other’s company, no matter what the occasion. I would not burden our children with bearing the responsibility or consequences of our actions.

Post # 5
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Future_Ms.Bostonceltics:  I agree with misschikapea…. perhaps hosting the rehearsal dinner in a restaurant would be better? If your mother is truly trying to make amends…then she should understand your good intentions and support you.

I’m sorry there’s family stress treading on your special day.. Don’t let anything ruin your happiness. Don’t let anyone else pull you in a direction that you feel hesitant or unhappy about.

Best of luck! XO

Post # 6
Member
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@julies1949:  Yea we are probably doing pizza and beer lol.  I think she should move it as well.  Neutral locations are best for these things.

Post # 7
Member
7794 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with your father. Your mother is wrong having it at her house and should have seen that it would be insensitive. To be honest, you should have foreseen that too.

I disagree that your father needs to get over it. My parents separated 20 years ago and are over it in the sense that they no longer dwell on it, but I know it would be madness to re-open old hurts by inviting either one to the other person’s house.

The topic ‘Rehearsal Dinner Drama….. Long, sorry’ is closed to new replies.

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