(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner etiquette

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Generally, if you are not inviting all OOT guests, you should invite anyone who will be at the rehearsal itself – bridesmaids, groomsmen, your officiant, readers, etc. Most people also invite immediate family – siblings, grandparents, etc. but not aunts, uncles, cousins.


Post # 4
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’ve always thought that the rehearsal dinner was just for people who were involved in the rehearsal (and those immediately connected to them) 🙂

Post # 5
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2018 - Still Looking!

The Washington Post recently had a chat session with Anna Post regarding wedding etiquette.  Someone asked a similar question on rehearsal dinners, and her answer was that the "must invites" are:
– Anyone involved in the rehearsal, such as the officiant, bridal party (including ringbearer/flower girl and parents), and readers
– Close family, such as parents, siblings, grandparents, couple’s own children, and any "step" parents or siblings; with others such as aunts/uncles, godparents, and cousins optional
– The spouse/fiance(e)/serious romantic partner of anyone listed above 

Post # 6
2641 posts
Sugar bee

The Sunday brunch is really nice for OOT guests.  SO if you feel like there are so many that having them at the RD would basically be another wedding reception, you do have the brunch going for them.  I would just keep it to those involved in the wedding itself, and any other immediate family member of yours or your FI’s who isn’t otherwise involved in the rehearsal.  

Maybe you could casually invite the OOT guests to get together at a restaurant in the area, if they want something to do the night of the RD.  But say it in a way that they understand you and the BP will be elsewhere, at the RD.  And that you’re not paying for it. 

Post # 7
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Everybody has covered the guest list issue, so I’ll go with the gift question…

I would use that time to give out your parent gifts, that way nobody is slighted and it won’t be awkward for one person to receive a gift. If you aren’t giving parent gifts, I would wait until another time when you’re along with your FFIL and give him a thank you gift for hosting. 

Post # 8
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We are doing everyone that will be involved in the actual ceremony rehearsal! It would be kind insulting to not invite everyone that is involved with the ceremony rehearsal! We have a large bridal party also so our Reheasal dinner is around 60-70 people.  So we aren’t inviting any OOT guests. 

Post # 10
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

LaurENors! I Hope It’s a huge success! you’ll have to let us know how it goes!!

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