- 9 years ago
- Wedding: May 2009
A little bit of back story or player information, if you will. My FMIL and FFIL are not together. FMIL has one other son than my husband to be (half-brother); FFIL provides two step siblings, a son and a daughter. The two brothers and sister are both involved with our wedding. The brothers are ushers and the sister is doing a reading for us.
My lovely FMIL graciously offered to throw a small rehearsal dinner on the night before our wedding. When we started to piece everything together we had always assumed that the guests would be FMIL, her husband, the wedding party (including the siblings), my parents, and FFIL and his wife. FFIL and family are coming from well out of town, so long distance travel on Saturday isn’t really an option.
Earlier this week I was informed that the FFIL’s clan will not be coming into town on Friday. I have told them two or three times about the plans for a rehearsal and dinner on that evening. They will be staying overnight with other family that live about an hour and a half away from where the wedding will be, so it doesn’t seem to be a work absence issue. They also have not booked rooms in our room block for Saturday night, either. It really seems that they will be coming in on Saturday and leaving on that day as well.
The relationship with this family has been … tricky. FFIL has very much distanced himself from us or anything to do with the wedding. We had always thought, though, that this wouldn’t impact the wedding weekend itself. We are all adults, right?
Am I wrong for thinking they should make the effort to be there for the dinner? I’m not the room block dictator; I don’t care where they sleep. Not showing up at the rehearsal and following dinner seems very rude to me, though. Especially because their two children (who are both adults) are in the wedding.
To complicate the issue is the fact that several years ago FFIL’s nephew was married at the same location. They came into town that Friday, went to the rehearsal dinner, and stayed for the whole wedding weekend. Are we wrong to feel that his SON should deserve the same treatment as well?
Clearly there are hurt feelings, but we are wondering how to proceed. Ignore them, and enjoy the people that want to share that time with us? Confront them? Just inquire if the son and daughter will be joining us for the rehearsal? I really don’t know what we should do. For my fiance and I the damage has sort have been done. It sucks to know that family or soon to be family are just not … interested in being around us.
I really need someone who is removed from this situation to offer input.