Post # 1
Hi Bees, I’m having a bit of troubel with my rehearsal dinner guest list. I’m not sure if anyone will be able to help me but I thought I would ask anyway. We’re hoping for a pretty small affair, but our families are SO complicated…. Here is the current list
Bride & Groom (Me & Fiance)
Groom’s Mom & Step-Dad
Groom’s Dad & Step-Mom
Groom’s Other Grandmother
Maid/Matron of Honor & Husband
Flower Girl #1
Ring Bearer #1
Flower Girl1 & Ring Bearer1 Parents (Bride’s Sister & her Husband)
Flower Girl #2
Ring Bearer #2
Flower Girl2 & Ring Bearer2 Parents (Bride’s Brother & his Wife)
Then there is also my fiance’s step brothers and their dates/families, AND my step sister and her family (husband & 2 kids)
With everyone above, thats 34 people!! We’re only having 90 at the wedding… It seems a bit crazy to have such a big number for the rehearsal. Tell me I can leave some of these people out!
Post # 3
Why do you have to invite anyone other then those that are in the wedding party? I understand the parents of the Ring Bearer and Flower Girl but other then that, they are going to see you at the wedding. I don’t think the extras are necessary. IMO
Post # 4
Hee 🙂 34 out of 90. My current count is 45-50 out of 75-80 because Future Mother-In-Law is insisting on inviting all the out of state guests too. I think she just wanted to have a party with her friends and didn’t realize that out-of-state meant over half the guest list.
Post # 5
we have exactly 34 ppl too. unfortunately, i think all the wedding party and immediate family has to be invited =(
Post # 6
My wedding will be 150 people, our rehearsal is 30 people. I invited the wedding party and their significant others, parents, and grandparents. Fiance grandma thought aunt and uncles should be invited, but I thought that was crazy! Why have a wedding then?!
Post # 7
@tall_jenny: I always grew up being told that the rehearsal dinner was for family members (immediate and extended). Knowning that, I had 40 people invited to my rehearsal dinner and I was thankful. Because I didn’t get to speak to any of them at the wedding… we had 150 guests and there was just no time. Seeing that you have 90 people, it might be ok not to invite everyone. But family is family, there’s not need to disclude them just because it’s a lot of people. Just my opinion though.
Post # 8
80 guests. 50 at the rehearsal dinner! Basically, wedding party, family, and Out of Town guests are coming.
Post # 9
We’re having 150 guests at the wedding and 70 at the rehearsal dinner. We invited bridal party and their dates, immediate family and out of town guests.
Post # 10
I know it’s not exactly traditional or formal, but since all of my wedding guests will be travelling for the wedding, we decided to do a Friday night happy hour at a local pub that is walkable to the hotels that everyone will be staying at as well as many good restaurants.
So, for an hour or two (still undecided), we’ll have drinks and some bar food – everyone is invited. Afterwards, people can continute to hang out at the bar, or they can figure out their own dinner plans. I think this will be a much more casual atmosphere that will allow everyone to mingle before the wedding.
I’m having a very small lunch before the rehersal with just my parents, FI’s parents and our siblings – 10 people.
Is it possible to think out of the box at all? I realize that some families really expect the traditional rehersal dinner so it won’t work for everyone.
Post # 11
thank you everyone for your comments so far. I still have no real idea what the rehearsal is going to end up looking like. I know that if I don’t invite my step sister and her famiily that my step mom will be upset, especially since my other siblings are invited (since their kids are in the wedding party)… and then if we invite my step sister, we will have to invite his step brothers and their families/dates….
Where on earth do we draw the line? We’re already spending too much money on this wedding, and now we have to shell out another couple thousand dollars just to feed people the night before?
I would try to plan it as just a bbq or something, but we have to have it in the same place as the wedding is going to be, and I worry that people will make a bit of a mess…
Post # 12
Wish I could help with some advice, but I’m in the same boat as you – 99 or so guests at the wedding, and 45 will probably be invited to the rehearsal dinner.
I think @lmoss78:‘s happy hour idea is brilliance on a stick! As for me, my Future In-Laws are having our rehearsal dinner at their place, which is about a three minute drive from our venue. We requested that they keep it simple and relaxed, as in pizza & beers, and I think that’s what they’re doing
Hmm. Something is slowly dawning on me. Why do you have to have a rehearsal dinner at all? Is there any way you can skip it completely?
Post # 13
Seems like my problem is sort of solved!
Our rehearsal is at 11am (same time as the wedding) so we decided to have a lunch rather than a dinner. Aaaaand my parents have offered to take care of it for me!!! They said “don’t worry, you have too much else to worry about. We’ll just grab some buns and some cold cuts and salads and stuff, it will be fine.”
So done and done, not going to stress about it anymore.
Post # 14
I’m so glad Im not having a rehersal dinner – sounds like even more stress added on to already stressful time.
Post # 15
@d-girl: i’m actually super excited about the rehearsal dinner- a lot less people, nothing i have to do- just get to eat, drink, and unwind before the wedding.