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The rehearsal dinner is traditionally the groom's family's responsibility, but I think this is a bit over the top. You should be able to invite more guests than just your parents. You should be able to have some input on logistics like where/when/what, within your FMIL's budget.
You should be able to talk to your FI openly about issues like this, so I would say go through him and tell him exactly what you are feeling: that you appreciate the gesture but have some concerns. He should be able to explain the rationale behind their decisions (financial, emotional, etc) and make sure you feel comfortable with the dinner plans.
We've talked, believe me. And the problem is, he's close(ish) to his mother's friend, so he sees it as a wonderful wedding gift. I guess I just am not sure how to get my opinion heard without coming across as ungrateful.
What about your bridal party? And why aren't your grandparents invited? They're immediate family.
This sounds odd, I'm sorry.
what about the bridal party being there & yes grandparents & siblings should attend too! :)
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I'm really not sure if I'm over-reacting....
My FMIL (and fiance) have been silent on the rehearsal dinner front for the last year, only mentioning it to assure me that they've got it covered. Finally, tonight (three months away from the wedding), but fiance lets me know that his mother's friend (who I've met once) is HOSTING the rehearsal dinner. It's going to be at their house, they're doing all the cooking, and my family is invited (but only my immediate family...no grandparents or anything). On one hand, I want to be happy that they are going to such a grand gesture (and it's the groom's family's responsibility, traditionally), but on the other hand, I'm kind of confused/mortified that people I don't know are going to be hosting the rehearsal dinner. Especially because I wasn't asked...I'm being told.
Thoughts and opinions please..I'm not sure how to respond/what to say.