Rehearsal dinner, help!!

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

talk to your FI and tell explain to him calmly that it can’t be at your house.

he needs to back you up on this.

or tell him he needs to finish painting and get everything ready because you are doing wedding stuff.

 

Post # 4
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yikes, that wouldn’t fly with me either. I’d have your FI talk to his parents. Maybe you could find a community center, hall, etc that could accommodate the rehearsal dinner instead?

Post # 5
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

It may be their party, but it is your house. Yesterday a commentor on another board gave an example of people trying to be la-di-da, which she wittily turned into a joke by misusing prententious-sounding words. Specifically to this situation, she mentioned requesting “the pleasure of their company ‘chez vous’“*. Vous is the french word for ‘you’: one normally requests “the pleasure of your company at our home”, but by trying to be over-the-top formal one makes the funny error of requesting “the pleasure of your company at your home”. Yet your mother-inn-law is doing exactly the ridiculous thing that other poster was making a joke out of!

Call a local church hall or community centre, and see if they have a room you can rent with access to a kitchen. Rent it, and tell your fiance and his mother that since your house is not set up yet, that you are providing her with an alternative that she will find much more workable than an unpainted house with no pots, pans or dishes available yet. There is nothing like the power of a fait accompli.

Post # 6
Member
46 posts
Newbee

Check with the Wedding Hotel, many times they will work with you for rehearsal dinners for a reduced or free rate in one of their meeting rooms. This is when he needs to be firm to establish his own life and his own home rules to the family. Good Luck!

Post # 7
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

He needs to grow a pair. Now.

I think it’s NUTS to try and host something at your house before you get married! It’s going to create way too much stress for you. If he won’t man up (red flag for the future, BTW) can your parents gently suggest another option?

You never know people’s financial situation somaybe the budget was too much of a reach for them. Let’s assume that they are just too proud to say that they can’t afford plan A. I think you should suggest (or have your MOH, guy, or parents suggest) a cheap alternative. For example, a pizza party or picnic.

If this does happen, I would INSIST that your fiance pay to have the place professionally cleaned before AND after the party. Not his parents but him. (I think it would be weird to have them pay to have your house professionally cleaned.)

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