Post # 1
ok i’m trying to figure out what to do with our rehearsal dinner and i listed the guest we will invite and my list is almost a 2nd wedding reception in itself! I have 70 ppl so far and I have a feeling it will be up to 100. ugh!!! our wedding is on the indepence day weekend, so our rehearsal is on the acutally 4th.
Since it was the 4th of July, I wanted to do a more casual rehearsal dinner and have a BBQ at a park then enjoy the fireworks show afterwards. This way everyone can relax and have fun without the setting feeling too formal. But I’m having issues with some people telling me that’s not a good idea.. its too casual, people will not want that b/c they will have their hair done..etc that the BBQ smell and outdoors will mess up their do. So this is making me feel like I shouldn’t do it. What I really want to do is have it catered by In and Out burgers since its one of our favorite burger joints.
Anyone have any ideas on what to do?? all the places I looked into cost almost like another wedding to host a dinner and we definitely cannot afford 2 major receptions.
Post # 3
My nephew is getting married the same weekend as you, and he is having a BBQ at his grandparents house, then watching fireworks.
Who is going to have their "do" done the night before? Don’t people take showers in the morning especially before a big event? Or put rollers in thier hair before bed? Then they could take a shower first.
A BBQ smell doesn’t stick to that bad anyway. Now a campfire, that’s different!!!
I say your idea sounds great. Unless these other people are paying for it, just say "oh yea, I hear what your saying. I’ll have to see" And get on with your own plans.
Post # 4
I think having a bbq is a great idea! The rehearsal dinner is supposed to be a relaxing little shin dig before the BIG day. Besides, you can do classy casual if people are worried that its too "blah". Besides, who’s going to have their hair done the night before the wedding or not shower to get the bbq smell out?
Post # 6
I think that sounds so fun!! There is nothing people like to do more on the 4th than cook out and watch fire works!!
Post # 7
i think it’s a great idea. you need to make sure you’re okay on space. i don’t know if you’re able to rent out parks, but i do know that in order to claim a spot at the parks around me on the fourth, you almost have to camp out over night. you don’t want to end up not having enough space for the bbq because of all the other people celebrating the day.
Post # 8
Thanks! Well African-American women usually get their hair done in advance to straighen it out (perming it) and getting it curled or braided. I didn’t think of it b/c it didn’t apply to me. Thanks for the advice girls! There are some parks that we can reserve ahead of time so I hope this works!
Post # 9
Unless you’re asking people to barbecue their own food, nobody has to stand over the grill and smell like a burger or a brat all weekend. I think an outdoor picnic-type RD is a great idea for 4th of July weekend. My sister had a really casual RD at a Mexican restaurant, with pitchers of margaritas, and it was loads of fun – really laid-back. Unfortunately my folks have picked a fancier place for mine – I’m hoping it doesn’t get too fancy. At least it has a big outdoor patio and is on the river, so it won’t be too stuffy.
Also, you can rethink the guest list for the RD. We started out with the idea of inviting everybody who was there from out of town, and it just got way too big. Now we’re thinking that we will invite OOT-ers that we haven’t seen in a long time, and those who are travelling alone and don’t know anyone else. Where there are a bunch of people who all know each other coming from the same place (we have 12 friends coming from Seattle) we are just going to make sure they all know where each other are staying, so they can get together for dinner. We might invite some of them out to our house for a glass of wine after the RD.
Post # 10
You must live in California if you’re wanting In-N-Out…I specifically requested to have Wahoo’s cater my bridal shower, so you can see where I stand on the whole casual idea!
I love the casual BBQ idea, we actually did that for our post-wedding party at the beach since we had so many out-of-towners and we wanted to be able to spend time once the stress was over.
So make it what you want and don’t get pressured into doing a fancy RD if that’s not what you want. I have a lot of black girlfriends, and yes, their hair needs are different. But they are all pros at it and know what to do….they just won’t stand near the BBQ.
If you have it outside, it shouldn’t be a problem at all. It’s only if you’re grilling indoors where it’ll be an issue…smopke clings to my hair unbelievably, so I understand!
Post # 12
I think is a fabulous idea. I am having a destination wedding and the rehearsal dinner will be on the beach- barbecue and bonfire. I think it is a fabulous idea. Being AA myself, the hair thing is a non issue. If they are smokey, they will be smokey together.
You want to be relaxed, kickin’ it with your friends getting ready for your day. You know if someone is worried about thier hair they won’t get near the smoke. Relax. It’s your party. Everyone is there for you. Don’t worry – get ready for the rest of your life.
Post # 13
I’m with you on the casual RD too. We’re eating BBQ and drinking bourbon and sweet tea (can you tell we’re in Georgia!?) on the back deck of the cabin my parents are renting for the weekend, and everyone seems to think this is a great idea. I say go for it!
Post # 14
I am going to second trini gal. This sounds like a fun RD to me. As an AA/black person who has locs, my hair traps everything, but I’ve never had a problem at bbqs. A room filled with cigarette smoke is another thing. Just remember in this process you are not going to please everyone. Have a good time!
Post # 15
I went to a BBQ rehearsal dinner a few years ago that was right around the 4th of July. It was GREAT and by far my favorite rehearsal dinner. There are many ways you can make the typical BBQ offerings unique and upscale. Diff’t types of mustard and mayo, diff’t salsas, home made tortilla chips from a local Mexican restaurant, lots of diff’t meats (ribs, steak, etc.), cool tablecloths, printed napkins with your names or a catchy saying related to the rehearsal dinner or date, corn on the cob grilled in the husk with special seasonings, etc. And, how perfect that you can watch fireworks too!!