Post # 1
First post here, long time silent participant:-)
My question is, how many of you are sending out invites for the rehearsal dinner? I’m very on the fence about it. The last few weddings I’ve been in, I have received formal, mailed ones (pre-printed ones at that), but I can also remember a time when we I was just told “the dinner is at ___ following the actual rehearsal.”
I’m not sure if it’s just expected procedure now, to send to all members of the bridal party, ceremony participants, family, confirmed out-of-town guests who will be in town, etc.
So far, our rehearsal dinner is estimated to be at around 50-60 people- with about 80% being local (I know, the size of many people’s weddings!)
Of course, we’d love to just do word of mouth and cut costs, but as a member of a bridal party who has received a formal invite, I feel that it’s a nice touch as well.
I’m on the fence here and not sure what to do! What is everyone here doing or may have done for theirs?
Post # 3
We’re doing printed invitations! They’ll be casual and we’re designing and printing them ourselves to cut costs. RSVPs will be by phone and email so that’ll cut down on costs, too 🙂
Post # 4
My Mother-In-Law did the invites since she hosted and she had nice, but not expensive preprinted invites mailed.
I was in another party that had a flyer ( printerpaper printed invite) mailed to us for a more casual rehearsal dinner.
I think the invite, to a degree, should match the dinnerr. If its a formal dinner a nice printed (but cheap) invite will suffice. If its a BBQ in your backyard an evite will suffice if everyone is technology savy.
Post # 5
We’re also doing formal invitations. I got 60 invitations for about $40-50 from wedding paper divas. RSVP is by phone or email too.
Post # 6
My Future Father-In-Law and F(step)MIL took care of the whole thing, and they did bought invitations filled in by hand – kind of a nice medium between formal invites and word of mouth.
Post # 7
@MsMango83: Years ago, during my initial eye-opening exposure to wedding boards (!!!) a bride asked whether her parents should send written invitations to her future inlaws for the getting-to-know-you dinner they planned to host. The consensus was that written formal invitations would be “weird”.
Now, I routinely invite guests to dinner and when I do I generally hand-write a formal invitation on my own plain white stationery in black ink and attractive cursive script (which, I hear, is being discontinued in public elementary schools, alas.) My opinion can therefore be discounted as being “weird”. On the other hand, when I invite the gang over for a barbecue in the back garden, I routinely shotgun out an e-vite and expect people to show up in jeans and hoodies. I am simply following the twin rules that:
1) Your style of invitation should be consistent with the style of party, and
2) The style of party should be consistent with the social norms for the community in which you live your daily life.
The most special events of your life (such as weddings) should of course be celebrated with the highest of the social norms prevailing in your social circle, but should not pretend to adopt artificially fancy forms that are completely alien to your day-to-day life. If no-one in your social circle has worn a “tux” (shudder) since they last rented one for their grad, then a white-tie wedding would probably be pretentious. If the thought of sending a formal invitation for a sit-down dinner feels “weird”, you should probably aspire to something a little less formal for your rehearsal dinner. As far as formality goes, you have (in descending order of stuffiness:)
- hand-written black-ink third-person conventional wording
- engraved write-in invitations or all-engraved invitations
- casual hand-written notes
- printed invitations on coloured paper with innovative wording
- e-vites, flyers and brochures
As far as propriety goes, as long as they make it clear when and where and who is invited, and get into the guests’ hands on a timely basis, you can pick whichever one suits your style.
Post # 8
Thanks for all the feedback, everyone, and it’s exactly why I love this community! I think I had made up my mind already, but this reaffirmed it. We will most likely proceed with sending out printed, formal invites, as it is a sit-down dinner at a nice Italian restaurant (it also happens to be the location of our engagement).
Personally, my favorite part of all the wedding festivities IS the rehearsal dinner- the mood is so lighthearted and full of excitement of what is to come, that I’ll be just as thrilled to send out those invites as I am our wedding invites!
Post # 9
We just called people. Initiall my Future Mother-In-Law wanted to host something, but she has been so hostile that we haven’t spoken to her a little over three months. My fiance and I are paying for the rehersal, so we’re only inviting people who have a role in the wedding (meaning my immediate family and his dad, who is best man, and his dad’s wife, who is his stepmom).
The way you invite is up to you, but since we’re only having 16 total people including us, we went the informal route.