Post # 1
MOB here. Groom’s family is hosting the rehearsal dinner at a causal western venue since many of their family are from OOT and they wanted to do something with some local flavor as opposed to just a restaurant. My husband has several relatives coming from midwest and he asked if they could come since we won’t have alot of time to see them, plus they would just be sitting at the hotel that night. We thought they would enjoy the “cowboy” place as well. Late last week FMIL mentioned that any of my immediate family is welcome to attend. My niece’s little girl is flower girl but she said they won’t be going, if they get her home too late it might make her irritable the next day and the place is very far from where they live. I really didn’t think any of my family would want to go as it is far away from them, they have been there and we can see each other whenever. I thought this would give us nice chance to visit with the out of town folks. My husband said something to my mom about see you Friday and she said for what? Whenhe told her she said she wasn’t invited. He is mad they weren’t invited to the dinner. I explained that they were but I didn’t think they would want to go. He is still mad. Do you think this is really a big deal? I’m sure he will spend his time visiting with his relatives.
Post # 3
@Sadiepoo: In my opinion, all OOT guests and immediate family should receive an invitation, even if it’s just an evite. Offer to help with expenses if your side is excessive in number, or if the groom’s family just invited their side. In my circles, the bride’s parents or family also host a day-after breakfast for OOT guests… basically to cover meals for people who travelled.
Post # 4
@Sadiepoo: I’m not sure I understand.
All the Bride’s immediate family were extended invitations via you but you decided that you didn’t think they would want to come and didn’t pass on the invite?
That’s the way that is reading to me.
If that is the case, I’m sorry, but I think you goofed. If you’re given the task of extending an invitation it’s your responsibility to do so – even if you think the people in question won’t want to come. You now have the responsility of hurt feelings to deal with and a potentially awkward situation at the wedding…
Post # 5
@MsGinkgo: I did end up telling everyone. I didn’t want FMIL saying something at the wedding and they would say they weren’t invited. They all said that since it is so far away they probably wouldn’t come unless we would be hurt. First of all, daughter understands that they weren’t told until last minute, and also that is is very far from where my family lives. I think if they would have held it at their house or at a restaurant close by my family would have at least stopped by. But with it being outside of town it would be over an hour each way for my family. Our OOT relatives are going so we will be represented and all of the bridal party and their dates will be there. I think FMIL should have said something sooner than the week of the wedding that everyone was invited.
Post # 6
@MsGinkgo: I do think the FMIL could have given a bit more notice that everyone was invited instead of the week of. My daughter says she is always scattered brained that way.