Rehearsal Dinner? Is it necessary?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
825 posts
Busy bee

A rehersal dinner is absolutely not necessary.

A rehersal is probably something you want to consider. Even logical, educated, adult human beings can truly screw up walking in a straight line and standing there. Particularly if they haven’t been in a bridal party before. 

How fast/slow do they walk? In what order do they enter? How much time do they wait in between the person/couple before them? Once they get up there where do they stand?  Does the maid of honor know to hold your bouquet? Do they know the order of the recessional? 

It should only take 20-30 minutes but I think that you’re going to have bigger and better things to do on your wedding day than help people figure that out.

Post # 4
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Nope, we aren’t doing one. We are having our rehearsal at 7pm so people can eat first. 

Post # 5
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

Technically, a “Rehearsal Dinner” is to feed the people doing you the favor of coming to your rehearsal.

So, if you don’t have a rehearsal, then you don’t need a rehearsal dinner. And you’re not required to have a rehearsal, of course!

However, if you do have a rehearsal, then you’re obligated to host those people in some manner. It does not have to be fancy – ordering pizza is more than fine. But to ask people to take the time to practice your big day and *not* offer them even the most minimal hospitality is rude.

Post # 8
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@jasonkatie2014:  logistically speaking the rehersal dinner is more of a thank you for your parents and bridal party specifically… typically it would just be a really small intimate gathering and can be as casual as a BBQ in your backyard to as fancy as a 5 course sit down meal at a luxurious resteraunt… lots of people also utilize a rehersal dinner to give gifts of thank to their bridal party and parents as well…

it by all means isnt neccessary though! more of a relax and enjoy that everything is done without any of the extra stress or activity that the wedding day brings…

Post # 9
Member
825 posts
Busy bee

@jasonkatie2014:  It all depends on your bridal party and you as a bride. If you don’t get a chance (something happens in the schedule that prevents you from going over things before the ceremony) — will that cause you more stress? If no, then pass on the rehersal. 

Are your bridal party good with reading (and responding) to e-mails you send them? Have some of them been in a bridal party before to show them the ropes (eg. making sure all girls are holding flowers at belly button height for pictures)? Do you have faith in either your best man/maid of honor to take charge, print out how you want everyone lined up, and make sure people are where they are supposed to be? If yes, then pass on the rehersal.

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