- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
So I am having an issue with who to invite to the rehearsal dinner. My FI’s dad and step mom are paying for the rehearsal dinner.
My FI and I decided that we only wanted to invite those who are in the wedding. This amounts to 28 people. We recognize that traditionally it is the bride and groom’s families plus any out of town guests. We are having a semi-destination wedding – the wedding is about 2 hours drive for the majority of our guests and almost everyone is staying in the hotel. My aunts and uncles are traveling from Nebraska to CA and they are the only ones who have to get on a plane. Our immediate family (brothers and sisters) are in the wedding, but our aunts and uncles are not.
My mom has stated that she expects that my entire family be invited to the rehearsal dinner, including those people not in the wedding (and specifically she wants the aunts and uncles from Nebraska to be invited). I told her that because my FI and I have pretty big families, we would really like to keep the rehearsal dinner to just those in the wedding. Adding both of our aunts and uncles would add about 20 people. My mom is now telling me that we don’t have to invite my FI’s family, just mine and that would only add about 8 people. She has now also told me that she will not come to the rehearsal dinner unless we invite these 8 people.
The reason we want a small rehearsal dinner is because my parents (who are paying for the wedding) added about 70 people to our guest list for the wedding (and I would say that 95% of those 70 people neither me nor my FI have ever met). We really want one event that is small and intimate and really be able to spend time with those people in the wedding. We don’t feel right inviting my aunts and uncles and not his. Plus, my parents are not paying for this, his are. I also don’t like the fact that my mom is trying to guilt trip me into this. I have given in to all of her other requests and really just want to have some part of this wedding that is ours.
So Hive, what do you think? Should we keep it just at the people in the wedding like we want but have the risk that my childish mother won’t come….or should we also include my aunts and uncles like my mom wants. I’ve talked to his dad and step mom about this and they said that the decision is up to us – but adding all of the aunts and uncles (the additional 20 people) is not an option.