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Well, personally, that's a lot of people for a rehersal dinner IMO, but I understand your circumstances.
I don't know, but $4k sounds like A LOT of money just for a dinner, but you're buying out the locale? Then, yeah, you're taking their other business away, so I would expect that much.
You might want to entertain other ideas and get second opinions with other places.
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Does this include liquor, tax, and gratuity? If not, it does seem a bit high, but honestly I think $40-$50 a person may be the norm in certain areas for a 3 or 4 course dinner at a nice restaurant. If you're looking for less expensive for so many people, maybe consider a more casual rehearsal gathering with just hors d'oeuvres and cocktails. If that doesn't sound appealing, I'm afraid you might not find anything much cheaper.
Well..I think it depends on the average price of a meal at that restaurant. If the entrees are typically $30, apps around $10, dessert around $10, then I'd say the price is normal. If the entrees are typically $10-20, apps $4-5, dessert $4-5, then I think it's high since you are basically guaranteeing 70 seats to be filled at the restaurant. The other thing to consider is that...are they closing out the restaurant for the ENTIRE evening? If so, I'd expect them to charge you about 1.5 times the cost of a meal. If the restaurant is allowing you....say 2-3 hours, where they stand a chance of accomodating other people before or after your party time, then the markup shouldn't be so high.
Unfortunately that doesn't seem that far off. I looked into renting out an entire patio at a restaurant in SoCal and they asked for a $5K minimum. And some other places with private rooms (and not even a whole private restaurant, like you have) didn't have a minimum per se, but were charging a little over $100 per person.
I feel your pain!!
One thing to consider is that everyone from out of town doesn't really expect to be invited to the RD. I had an email from an OOT guest just today on that subject - asking very nicely (as there are a number of folks coming from her area who all know each other) whether we are free the night before the wedding for drinks or dinner or both, or whether we are having our RD that night - just so they can make plans.
We are waiting for a price quote in order to decide what to do... as we would also love to have everyone from OOT, but do have a budget. We do have a few singles travelling alone, and will definately invite them to the RD, but for couples and especially where several couples who all know each other are coming into town, I'm going to assume they can fend for themselves unless our budget can accomodate them. After all, we are feeding them a pretty good dinner the next night!
My FI and I discussed the whole rehearsal dinner the other day and realized that it's so easy for the rehearsal dinner to turn into a mini-wedding. We've decided to have a cocktail party instead and keep the costs down and make the wedding seem like a bigger event :)
I remember my sister's RD as being totally a mini-reception - just much more relaxed and informal. She had about 30, which is probably what we will have. The actual folks in the wedding, plus the OOT people that we really want to spend some extra time with.
We're having the same issue. We are having to invite over 100 people since we're having our wedding in my hometown, which is in the middle of nowhere and has no restaurants.
I tried to convince my FI to go with a casual BBQ in the back yard ($10/person including non-alcoholic drinks and dessert), but he refused and said he wanted to do something more elegant. FYI--our rehearsal cocktail party (2 passed hors d'ouerves, and a cocktail buffet) is $23/pp without drinks!!! It is not necessarily cheaper to do it this way.
I recommend finding a venue that is more casual if possible--a brick oven pizza joint with a back room you can rent; a casual Italian joint where you can do spaghetti and meatballs. This will surely cut costs down. Or if you do a cocktail buffet, can you buy stuff at a local store (veggie trays; charcouterie plates; pre-made cakes or cookies) and have a family member help you DIY and then just hire bartenders and some kitchen help?
I had really hoped to do a "cocktail poolside" party so that it was not like a mini reception and also so that Mr. Glitterman's folks could put more money towards the wedding to offset the costs. But there's nowhere like that in the area.
I had looked into something fun like Bocce ball and just like SDBride said, it's a $4k minimum just to rent out the patio for Bocce ball!!!
That's good to know that not everyone has to be invited from out of town to the rehearsal dinner. Our wedding is 135 people but looking at the list about 70 of them are from out of town including bridal party.
ugh.... back to the research board.
We are having only the wedding party and immediate family at the rehersal dinner. To include our OOT guests we are asking them to meet us for drinks at a local pub. We will have some apps to spread around but we are not paying for drinks as everyone will have to drive. We are including suggestions for local eateries for after the drinks. We figure this will encourage everyone to go in groups on to the restaurants. The restaurants will be included in the invitations with suggestions that they make reservations. We are also reserving a few tables at each place that they can get at the last minute with the cooperation of the restaurant management.
That's a great suggestion Tberry.
One of the things that I really like about rehearsal dinners is that you get to meet the 'inner circle' before the wedding. this allows for everyone to feel comfortable on the wedding day and there's a better comraderie among guests.
We are planning wine tastings and a golf day, so maybe it would be acceptable to just do the immediate family.
We went to In 'N Out!! It was a blast, and super cheap! Plus, it's something different and not as fancy, which made it even more fun. We just couldn't afford a dinner, and in hindsight, everyone LOVED it and I wouldn't have done it any other way! We got to have all the OOT guest there plus everyone involved with the wedding.
If you are set on a sit-down dinner, I would also suggest limiting it. OOT guests don't expect to be fed twice on your bill, especially in CA (even more so in this area, I think) where dinners are just plain expensive!!
Are you really set on a sit down dinner? My cousin was married in the Bay area, and due costs and the large number of out of town guests, the rehearsal dinner was a buffet at the brides parents house, very low key, casual, and fun. It was nice for all of us to visit and not be stressed. We then had a great time the next day at their wedding, which was a formal affair.
We are getting married in So Cal and our rehearsal dinner is costing us $25.00 a person for the Wedding Party, our Officiant, and out of town realatives. The only otg that will be there that is not a realative is a very good friend of mind coming from France. WE are expecting 25 to 30 at the rh.
Also, who is paying? Traditionally the groom's family pays for this, so look into what their budget is.
hmmmm....you've had some good suggestions above.
i'm thinking limiting the RD guest list would help your bugdet the most. and then pick up one of these suggestions of a meet and greet style get together. not sure where it could be.....but just hooking up with people for drinks and hugs probably would suffice. especially since you have other activities planned already.
Wow! Nigelsbride! In 'N Out sounds wonderful!!! I wish we had something here in Charlotte, NC that was unique like that. (mental note: really, really miss the In 'N Out right by LAX). We really want to have all of our Out of Town guests at the rehearsal dinner, so we decided to have it SUPER casual. We're using a meeting room at the hotel we have our block of rooms at. We are getting it for only a $75 set up fee because we have a group of rooms. Then we're going to order a bunch of pizzas. I agree about the inner circle. We have so many friends from so many parts of the country and parts of our lives that we want them to all meet and know each other befor the ceremony. Plus since this is such a DIY wedding, I have some many friends who have helped me that I really want the chance to toast them all. I guess what you have to decide is what's most important to you. Is it have a more elegant dinner? Or inviting more people? Good Luck!!!
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We are going along the lines of Nigelsbride. 95% of our wedding guest are from out of state and country and more than half of those are my very close family. So they certainly expect to be going to the rehearsal dinner. Plus I have to disagree, if people fly in for your wedding they should be invited to the RD its only polite. Plus we really wanted and activity so our familys could mingel and meet each other. So we are doing burritos and bowling. It comes out to about $15pp with drinks and something our families will love and give us all a chance to relax before the big day.
All of our guests (outside of 30 of my relatives) were OOT. They were more than excited to have their own nice dinner and explore Monterey/Carmel w/o being obliged to wedding events on Friday night.
And... our rehearsal dinner for JUST wedding party/their guest & immediate family came to around $8k for 28 people, mainly due to wine costs.
I think it's great if you can do it, but I'm getting a bit fatigued thinking about all of the pre-wedding/post-wedding events I've got for OOT weddings. I won't be able to even see the places I'm flying too unless I take off more than Friday... which kinda negates the fun of a destination wedding for me.
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yea - i agree. as an out of town guest at weddings, i prefer not to go to the rehearsal dinner. i want to explore/relax/meet up with other friends. i think RD can be kept to immediate family + bridal party + out of town family. Having said that, my RD will be 30-40 ppl... eeek and in new york city too... so i think the pricing in the original question actually looks reasonable.
Holy cow - ok we're going a bit lower key. We will have a lot of people there but we're renting tents, charis, tables and buying plates and all other eating utinsils.
The we are having a local BBQ place bring up their food to feed about 75. Add in the drinks, (kegs included) and all the little details and we're still looking at less the $2000!!! The food is only going to be about $700!!!!
We're having a Luau and we can't wait to get down! We're having a foraml meal at the wedding, why have another for the RD?
$4K for 70 people sounds about right...
For anyone in Chicago looking for an inexpensive rehearsal dinner option, look at Quartino bar and restaurant on State St.. We did our engagement party there. We got half a small bar room reserved for us with 30 people for under $500, buffet hors d'oeuvres, and plenty of caraffes of wine. Everyone raved about it for months afterward. We chose the food off the salumeria and pizza menus and they set it our buffet style for us before our guests arrived.
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Okay, I know this is a RELATIVE question nationally, but I'm looking at restaraunt pricing (specifically in Los Gatos, Ca) and it's like over half my catering bill!!!
We have a lot of people for the dinner because its a destination event for everyone except us. The cheapest we've found is a great restaraunt where we do a buyout for the evening, 70people for $4k. (includes appetizers, multiple salad, entree and dessert choices)
Is this a "normal price" for a bay area rehearsal dinner?