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Wow 150 guests? I thought our rehearsal dinner was big with 40 people. At our rehearsal dinner only immediate family, and wedding attendants and maybe their immediate family plus the officiant and the musicians. We're having ours at a Chinese restaurant.
It sounds like you may have to rent out a hall and have it catered. Does your ceremony venue have a reception hall?
I suggest you have a rehearsal dinner for the bridal party and close family members. Most of the out of town guests would not expect to be at the rehearsal dinner as traditionally to is only the bridal party and close family that are present. Instead find a local restaurant and negotiate a deal for the out of town guests to have a little soiree of their own (they will be paying for it themselves but because of your savvy negotiating it will be a great deal less than if they had gone out to dinner on their own). Make sure to have them RSVP as they would to any organized dinner so you can make arrangements ahead of time (when you invite them let them know you have arranged for them to have a nice dinner when they arrive and if they would like to attend there will be a reasonable cost, this will be much less expensive than if they were to go out to dinner individually). Make sure to decorate their table with a welcoming theme and perhaps have someone read a 'thank you for coming all this way letter' that you've written ahead of time. Best of luck!
All our guests are OOT too. We are only having the bridal party and family at the rehearsal dinner. I would put together a list of suggested restaurants on your website for OOT guests to find their own dinner. I like LovesaFire's idea, but I can't handle the extra work :)
I think someone had a similiar issue a few weeks ago. I would suggest having an intimate dinner for just the bridal party and immediate family. Then afterwards invite everyone - bridal party & OOT guests - to a local bar and let everyone hang out. If you have any money from your budget leftover, maybe see if you can cover drinks for everyone up to a certain price point.
Also, my brother had a semi-destination wedding. Instead of having a rehearsal dinner, they held they event at a local bar, decorated it a little bit, served appetizers (like chicken tenders, wings, bar food . . . ) and had an open bar. We gave gifts, had speeches, played pool, danced to music . . . It was fun and casual and was definitely a memorable time.
I'm in a similar situation, we'll be having around 100 people for the RD...I think that making it more of a cocktail/welcome reception is a great idea...Have wine and beer and apps as a way to mingle and greet your guests...While it's definitely NOT rude at all not to invite all OOT guests to the RD, it's a nice gesture to host something since it is a semi-destination wedding...Can you offer to contribute even like, $500 or something to help out your FIL's?
Any opinions on a rehearsal brunch? We have to do our rehearsal in the morning anyway b/c the venue will have a wedding the afternoon evening before. Maybe a brunch with immediate family/attendants and then a get together in the evening with OOT guests that's easy and relaxed?
Also, what is everyone's feelings on the purpose of the "dinner"? My family isn't helping at all with this wedding and my FI's is truly just throwing a $1000 at it b/c they kinda feel obligated to. Our attendants are all out of town but have done more than our families have so far. What about just taking our attendants out to say thank you and footing the bill ourselves? I thought the "dinner" was to say thank you to everyone? Mainly I want to thank our OOT's for coming all this way!
I think what you wrote above sounds great! Do what you're comfortable with and happy with. Some of the rehearsal dinner is just to follow tradition and such, but I think it's really, bottomline, to thank your families and bridal parties for their help.
We're doing a formal rehearsal dinner a week before our wedding to satisfy my FMIL's wants. But, the night before our wedding, we're treating our bridal party to a crab feast/cook-out and are inviting our extended family and OOT guests over after we all eat.
I like your idea of taking the attendants out for a nicer dinner and footing the bill yourselves since it sounds like they have been more helpful/involved. if you stick with the entire OOT list, what about having a BBQ/picnic style rehearsal dinner for that many people? We are doing a BBQ/picnic type dinner for our semi-destination wedding for about $500 at the lake house my parents are staying at for the wedding. You could do it at a park pavilion which are usually fairly inexpensive.
Thank you for your help! I think we'll be taking our attendants, my brother (who is walking me down the aisle) and our photographer (FI's cousin) out to our own Rehearsal Dinner and then meeting up with all OOT guests at my Future In-Law's rental house for cake and cocktails. We'll also find a great patio in the Village to camp out on and by apps and beer for any OOT guests who may want to join us for lunch that day. We'll keep the in-laws focused on entertaining their family (which is all they're focused on anyway right now!)
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With about 4 months to go to the wedding the biggest hurdle my FI have been facing is the rehearsal dinner. His parents are gracious enough to offer to host (we are paying for the wedding ourselves - my family hasn't offered to help). However, they want to invite all out of town guests to the rehearsal; usually great, with the exception that it would be about 150 people! His parent's budget is around $1000. We can't even do pizza and alcohol for that price at the local pizza place. Not even for lunchtime! Also, our wedding is semi-destination. We live in Vail, CO and so everyone is traveling here for the wedding. Doing a potluck or cooking at a rental condo for all these people isn't an option.
So - what else can we do? HIs parents were ok with a small dinner just for attendants/immediate family, but still want to feed all the out of town guest for fear of being rude. We're wondering if we can skip the dinner all together? Maybe we just take out our attendants ourselves? Then maybe meet up with the entire family for cake (it's our birthday that day) and drinks later in the evening at one of the rented houses? What is acceptable or can you think of another cheap option for the rehearsal? I don't want to skip out on the cool moments of a rehearsal, but we just can't think of anything.