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Traditionally, everyone involved in the wedding (bridesmaids, groomsmen, readers, etc.) are invited to the rehearsal dinner along with immediate family (parents, siblings). Their significant others are also usually invited as well.
We're in the same situation as you, and we decided to go with a smaller rehearsal dinner w/ only the people who are directly involved in the wedding. The other out-of-town people are more than capable of fending for themselves for dinner. Maybe offer up some suggestions for some good restaurants to give them some ideas.
We want it to be just between the two families becaue it's not often both get together. Live in different areas.
So, immediate family only with bridal party. We're already at 20 with just that so anymore we'll be breaking that bank!!
We are in a similar situation... getting married where we live now and 95% of guests will be traveling. We're inviting:
- immediate family
- bridal party and guests
- anyone who is flying in (almost everyone will drive so there will be prob less than 10 who fly in).
We had this problem. We have a lot of people coming in from out of town and we cannot accomodate everyone.
After much debate with my parents and FILs, we are having:
Wedding party and dates
Parents (obvs)
Parent's siblings (so aunts and uncles)
This comes out to about 50 people, which is more than we wanted, but the only compromise we could reach with our parents.
We're having a "meet us for a drink" thing near the hotel after the dinner.
We are inviting anyone who is family that is invited to the wedding, so about 75 people. It seems like a lot but it was important to us and our families never get together. We are doing it cheaply by having a barbeque on a city property. I am so excited about it!
We're having a pretty big wedding, so only Wedding Party and immediate family.
We've invited wedding party, parents, grandparents, and close family; about 60 people!
The rehearsal is at 11am, so we are having a rehearsal luncheon for bridal party & SOs and parents (all of our siblings are in BP). This way we can have some down time afterwards, then do some sort of out-of-towners cocktail fiesta.
We're inviting anyone who needs to be at the rehearsal: our parents (obviously), wedding party (all of our siblings are in it, so they're covered here too), grandparents (all but one of whom will be traveling from out of state), and a few people who aren't technically family but might as well be. Probably a good 75% of our guest list will have to travel (driving up to 8 hours, no flying though), but we're not inviting all of them because that would make our rehearsal seem like part 1 of our reception! We want something more intimate for the RD and to have some time to enjoy the company of our closest friends and family before the madness really begins!
We are inviting our immediate families, the bridesmaids and groomsmen (and their spouses), the flower girl and her parents, and our minister and his wife. To keep costs down, we are renting the party room at a pizzeria. There's no cost to rent the party room---we're just picking up the bill at the end of the night. :-) Easy peasy.
We're having just those involved in the ceremony (plus their SO's), our parents and our priest. Some people do invite all out of town guests, but you don't have to.
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My FI and I are both originally from other areas then where we are getting married and live so almost everyone will be traveling to the wedding. Who is traditionally invited to the rehearsal dinner? We are concerned that if we invite all of the out of town guests we will end up having approx. 100 people at the rehearsal dinner and 150 at the actual wedding and that would make for an expensive rehearsal dinner. Thanks for the input.