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If your Fiance's parents are paying for it, they technically can invite whoever they want, but I think if you really just want the bridal party and parents, you should just stress that point. Don't make it into an argument, though, as you have plenty of other things to worry about besides the rehearsal dinner. I can tell you, too, that if you are going somewhere nice, I would not invite children, or at least stress to parents how boring it will be for them. It didn't even cross my mind when we invited my twin brothers (who are 12). The were terribly bored and after about 45 minutes, they were ready to go!! Rehearsal dinners can run for 2+ hours, so unless they are easily entertained, kids can get pretty fussy! Our groomsman with small children and his wife got a sitter for that very reason.
My FI's parents are paying for the rehersal, and they wanted the out of town guests to all be invited(they are all FI's family). I really didn't have a problem with this, plus the place we are having it at has a minimum number of people, so having the oot guest involved will help us meet this. Plus, I think it's always nice to spend a little more time with the guests who are traveling to see you! GL!
featherpl11.jpg (44.4 KB, 24 downloads) 1 year old feather12.jpg (49.5 KB, 27 downloads) 1 year old decor22.jpg (21.5 KB, 30 downloads) 1 year old 
I would advocate for including fiance's immediate family, but perhaps you could suggest they get a sitter so they can stay the whole night and not worry about the little ones. When I suggested that to my sister (who has an infant and a 4 year old) she was THRILLED.
What we've ultimately decided is to have two rehersal-like dinners, one is thrown by the groom's family and will be wedding party, parents, & grandparents. The night before the wedding, all of our larger families are invited for burgers and dogs at my parents house. It's much more casual, not a big deal, etc etc, but it's an opportunity to include everyone.
Good luck!
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Ok, so here's my issue...
My fiance has 2 brothers and 2 sisters. All of them are married with at least 2 kids, most under the age of 12. I really don't want to have kids at the rehearsal dinner because they aren't so well-behaved anyway but because I don't also want to worry about them getting fidgety.
My fiance's parents really don't know much about putting on a rehearsal dinner so I'm planning it and they are paying for it. My mother thinks we have to invite the out of town guests but I'm not so hot on it. I would really like for my rehearsal dinner to JUST be the wedding party and our parents. None of my fiance's siblings or their children are in our wedding so that knocks them off of the list. His mother thinks that if we invite out of town guests that we have to invite his brothers and sisters to be fair to her.
Please help me with some advice to deal with this situation and be nice about it!