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Wow, 40 people! What's a couple more? I think she counts as family, especially since you said you can't imagine not inviting her.
Maybe not invite the children to lessen the guest list stress? I was under the impression children are not usually at the rehearsal dinner?
That said, I definitely think your stepsister should be invited.
Step sister is a sister. I know there is some new theory about this but proper decorum originally mandated that all people in the wedding and all OOT guests were included.
PS I get FURIOUS when people tell me my little brother is my half brother. How dare they correct me when clearly I think of him as a brother.
@BlushingBee: I agree! My brother is my half brother bt i've never thought of him that way. He's always been my little brother & always will be.
@keepsmiling19: I say she most certainly should be invited. Stepsister is still a sister- especially if you consider her to be your sister. What is 2-4 more people when you're inviting 40 people geeze.
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I was just talking to FI about our rehearsal dinner guest list. He had some concerns about the people on the list (for example, my stepsister and her children). He said that his parents were frustrated at some of the people his SIL added when they had their rehearsal dinner and asked if my stepsister and her children were necessary. Although my stepsister lives far away and we don't see her often, I can't see not including her. I still feel like she is family. We have about 40 people on the guest list. I kept the list to people in the wedding, and their SO's/spouses and our immediate family. His parents aren't divorced, so maybe they don't get the dynamic of blended families, but I feel like my stepsiblings still count.
What do you all think?