(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner

posted 10 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Yes, invite spouses and significant others of the bridal party.

The others can be a little tricky…depends on how large you want it to get.  Including our immediate families, the bridal party and SOs and the officiants, we are up to 40. 

Traditionally, they say you should invite all of your out of town guests, but that would be almost our entire guest list!

Post # 5
Member
267 posts
Helper bee

Yes, invite spouses, and if they’re coming in from out of town, the wedding party’s dates. Immediate family (siblings, parents) is pretty much a given, and some not-so-immediate if they’re close and/or from out of town. Obviously you need to draw the line somewhere, or you’ll end up having the entire wedding guest list, but remember, even if tons of people are coming in from out of town, they might want to get together and celebrate without you, so ask about their plans before freaking out over the rehearsal dinner guest list!

Post # 6
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

We’re doing the wedding party and SOs, immediate family and select close friends, and then putting a note in the out of town bags to meet us at the rehearsal dinner place (a sports bar!) at a later time so we can hang out with everyone (but not pay for them). One of our friends is doing this and we really liked the idea, so we’re doing it too.

Post # 7
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Dreams Cancun Resort & Spa

um~ what happens if it’s a destination wedding and EVERYONE is OOT?

Post # 8
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

were having the same issue, lovebird! to solve it we might have a cocktail hour before the rehearsal & then a private rehearsal dinner for the immediates & bridal party only. hopefully the rest of the OOT -ers can find something else to do after the cocktail hour!

Post # 9
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

lovebird, we’re also having the same issue … the plan right now is to invite everyone to the RD, although i kind of like piperbenjamin’s suggestion.

Post # 12
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

abomb, i don’t know how what the etiquette is on inviting your pastor.  we’re inviting our officiant who is marrying us because he is also our good friends.  sorry.  maybe you can check out martha stewart or emily post on etiquette. 

Post # 13
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Anyone who is at the rehearsal (um, yes, the officiant or pastor should be at your rehearsal) is a MUST invite do the rehearsal dinner.  The rest of the guests depends on your family, out of town guests, and personal preference.

Post # 14
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

I think it would be incredibly rude not to invite the spouse of someone in your wedding party if they’re there, even if you don’t know them. I can honestly say of all the weddings FI and I have been in, I have never seen this happen (the not inviting of spouses).

Speaking of inviting pastors/priests/officiants, remember to also invite them to the reception along with the rehearsal. 

Post # 15
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

The officiant/pastor should get an invitation (along with his/her spouse) to the wedding and reception, and at the reception should be treated as a guest.  If the officiant will be part of the rehearsal (and I would think that they would) they should be invited to the rehearsal dinner.  Whether they actually attend or decline for the RD generally depends on how close they are to you and your family.

OOT guests are optional.  It’s a nice idea to include them when there are only a few, but probably impractical when its your whole guest list.  We are inviting only those OOT guests who will be travelling alone, or whom we haven’t seen in a really long time and therefore want to spend more time with.  For instance, my girlfriend coming from Wisconsin by herself gets an invite to the RD; a group of six couples coming from Seattle and staying in the same hotel can presumably get organized enough to eat together, and therefore doesn’t.  The main thing in my mind is that you don’t leave someone from OOT all alone in a restaurant in a strange town, if you know what I mean.

Post # 16
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

A lot of our guests are OOT, and the rehearsal dinner list was quite a source of contention with FI’s dad until my parents stepped in a took over organizing (and paying for) the RD.

We are having the wedding party + any relevant significant others, parents, grandparents, our priest and his wife, and the ushers (my cousins) plus their parents (my aunt and uncle who are helping organize the RD as well).

Afterward, we are having a dessert and wine reception for ALL OOT guests.

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