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rehearsal dinner..is it rude?...

posted 2 years ago in Parties
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    Busy bee
    melv0802    September 18, 2010   new jersey/philadelphia

    hi bees, ok question for you...

    i was invited to the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner of my FI's brother's wedding..i'm not super close to them, so FI said that i could just go to the rehearsal about 30 min or so prior to it finishing so that I wouldn't just be sitting there..i don't really have a part in their wedding, so, do you think it would be rude if i just went at the tail end of the rehearsal and then to the dinner with them??? thanks bees!!

     
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    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    i don't think it's rude. my fi will be coming with me to my friend's rehearsal and i've been thinking how stupid that is, he'll just be sitting there. if i wasn't making him drive me, i would do the same thing and have him come late too.

     
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    Sugar bee
    luli29    October 9, 2010   Massachusetts

    I don't know...

    its like you're just showing up for food...but since its your FI's brother...maybe he already said you could?

     
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    realeastcoaster    July 11, 2009   Canada

    At our wedding we invited significant others of the members of our wedding party to the rehearsal dinner, and they met up with us at the location of the dinner. To be honest, I was glad they didn't come to the rehearsal - I hate being the center of attention and would have felt even more awkward "practicing" the ceremony in front of people I barely know. 

     
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    Miss Sapphire    December 2009   Seattle

    My Fi's sister got married last year.  I didn't even go to the rehearsal.  I met them at the restaurant.

     
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    Bumble bee
    bvig    September 2009   wedding in NJ

    Usually rehearsals aren't more than 30 min anyway.  I guess ours was about 45 minutes but that's because we had a lot of europeans with us who don't do rehearsals and were fascinated. 

     
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    JamaicaBride    May 14, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    I was going to suggest you just meeting them at the rehearsal dinner and skipping the rehearsal altogether. I don't think it would be rude in the least since you aren't a member of the wedding party.

     
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    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    As a significant other of someone in the wedding party who is invited to the RD as a date, I don't think there is anything wrong with not going to the actual rehearsal. There's absolutely no point in you being there anyway.

     
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    Miss Lily    August 1, 2008   TX

    I don't think there is any reason for you to be at the rehearsal. If you aren't part of the wedding party, but have been invited, you could just go to dinner and skip the whole rehearsal IMO.

     
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    PeytonL79    12/6/2009   DC Area

    Not rude at all!  If you have no role in the wedding, there's no reason why you should be at the rehearsal.  My FI skipped the rehearsal for my friend's wedding in which I was MOH just two weeks ago.  :-)

     
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    july112010    July 11, 2010   los angeles

    People dont usually go to the rehearsal unless they are in the wedding. At least from my experience. Personally at my own wedding rehearsal I wouldnt want a bunch of people there that arent in the wedding party. I dont think it is rude at all to just go to the rehearsal dinner.

     
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    teaadntoast    04/23/2010   New York, NY

    Unless there's something specific that you can help with, probably best to skip the rehearsal.  People will be running around and freaking out over last minute details, and it's unlikely that they'll notice.

    You can always call the bride or FI's brother to be sure it won't bother them if it really makes you nervous. 

     
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    Bumble bee
    lemondrop    March 13, 2010   Arizona

    I recommend asking your FMIL, and find out how she feels about it.  I went to FSIL's rehearsal and dinner earlier this year and didn't know many in the wedding party.  I took pictures of them rehearsing and had a good time.  They were happy that someone snapped a few photos for them. 

     
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    KellyV    September 12, 2009   New York, NY

    nah I dont think its rude.  I invited a groomsman's girlfriend to teh rehearsal and dinner even though she wasnt in the wedding.  she came to the rehearsal and took some photos for us.

     
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    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    Yeah, unless they want you there for a specific reason (take pictures, etc.), then you're not at all obligated or expected to sit at the actual rehearsal. All the SOs that were invited to our rehearsal dinner just met us at the restaurant.

     
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    Busy bee
    Bella Luna    September 5, 2010   Ohio

    I think that's totally acceptable. My FI wouldn't have gone to my friend's wedding rehearsal except for the fact that it was quite far from our home (a couple of hours), and we only brought one car. It was either he came to the rehearsal and then the dinner, or stayed in the hotel and fended for himself for dinner. He chose the rehearsal. :)

     

    Bella

     
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    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    I would ask the bride, FBIL or FMIL.  It could be rude, if your presence was expected.  

     
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    Bumble bee
    Chachacha    June 2010   Minneapolis, MN

    I don't think it's rude at all. I, like the others, was going to suggest that you not go to the rehearsal at all and just meet up with them at the dinner location. People do that all the time when they are not in the wedding party but their significant others are in the and have to go to the rehearsal.

     
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    spaniel    March 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    It's fine. The last rehearsal dinner I was invited to (as FI's date; he was a groomsman), I wasn't actually even invited to the rehearsal itself--I just met them at the restaurant. :) The point is a DINNER honoring the couple, not to watch them practice unless you're participating!

     
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    Busy bee
    lampshade127    March 27   Houston

    I would prefer not to have an audience of people that are not in the wedding at the rehearsal anyway- that's time for practicing. We are having family members that aren't in the wedding meet us at the restaurant.

     
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    melv0802    September 18, 2010   new jersey/philadelphia

    thanks girls!=) i ended up not going to the rehearsal and going to the dinner, and everything turned out fine...thanks again!!!

     
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    msDecember    December 18 2009   Washington DC

    good post, I was just wondering about this the other day! We invited all the SOs of the wedding party, I was kinda thinking it would be strange to practice infront of all these people! Hope most of them just show up to the restaraunt!

     

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