Post # 1
FI and I will be paying for our entire wedding ourselves and are on a pretty tight budget. We would like to take our wedding party to dinner afterwards, but there will be 9 additional guests. In order to keep costs down, we were contemplating telling our wedding party that we will cover their dinner, but their guests will be responsible for their own plates. Is this rude? If not, how do you tell guests? Should I be sending out a rehearsal dinner invitation?
Post # 2
msfreemis: OMG really?? RUDE! You need to find a better option, because that is simply tacky.
Post # 3
Dont have a rehearsal dinner if you cant afford it. There is no need. Either find a way to host everyone, or just do something small as a TY for your bridal party, but DO NOT ask them to pay for their guests to a dinner YOU plan.
Post # 4
I agree with the previous posters that you shouldn’t ask them to do that. Maybe don’t have guests or do something simple. Like we’re hosting a barbecue at our home. We’ve bought the supplies from costco and for 45 guests it’s $300 including wine and cider for drinks (we make our own).
Post # 5
I would just choose a cheaper dinner option so that you can afford to cover everyone’s dinner. I think it would be awkward to pay for some guests (wedding party) and not for others (their significant others).
Post # 6
What do you mean by additional guests? Do they want to bring friends? If you mean their spouses and significant others, then no, you need to host a dinner you can afford.
Post # 7
msfreemis: I know it’s tough when you want to do something but the money is almost–but not–there. :/ Be prepared for the feedback you’ll get on this.
To answer your question: yeah it’s absolutely rude. Do NOT ask your wedding party to host your guests. No matter who they came with, if you are hosting the dinner then they’re your guest. Instead of a rehearsal dinner which is completely unnecessary, why not have heavy appetizers and limited beverages at the rehearsal site?
Take only the wedding party out. No guests, just you guys and your BMs/GM. Not even as a rehearsal dinner–take the BP out for a luncheon prior to rehearsal, no extra people. Then everyone can go to the wedding venue, rehearse, and call it a night.
Post # 8
Host the rehearsal dinner you can afford. If that means you host a dinner party at home, fine. If it means you have the rehearsal and buy everyone a round of drinks at a local bar, cool. If it means you send your guests home from the rehearsal with a cupcake, no problem. Asking your bridal party to pay for “their” guests (who I might remind you are YOUR guests) is in no way even a little bit acceptable. If you did this to me, I would be utterly appalled.
Post # 9
Order pizza and beer and have them to your home. Or go somewhere cheap and delicious. Or literally any other solution other than having your guests pay for themselves. Yikes.
Post # 10
msfreemis: Why not have a catered meal to your home or hotel suite? Or cover a food truck meal? It’s reasonable even for a tight budget.
Post # 11
You do not ask them to pay for themselves. Like PP said – just order in pizza and beer if you’re on a tight budget. The dinner is a way to honor the bridal party and their S/O’s for being a part of your day. Do not punish them by making them pay for their own food. We’re paying for our wedding ourselves so that’s not a good enough excuse not to be a good host.
Post # 12
Theyre +1s are your guests. Definitely dont do that!
Just have a rehearsal backyard bbq or at a dinner at a cheaper place, or not at all. It would be really rude to your wedding party and their dates to just select who is a guest, vs who you will be treating like party-crashing clingers. Literally the oppositie of the spirit of hospitality.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
Order pizza and bring beer. Have a cheaper dinner. I cannot think of anything tackier than paying for some guests, then asking for them to cover the costs of the rest.
Post # 15
I realize you want to cut costs, but this isn’t where you do it. If it means getting a keg & pizzas…then do that. Making your wedding party pay for their significant other, is like telling them to “F off.” Sorry to be so blunt, but making them do that is beyond rude. Sacrifice the wedding favors, before even making the suggestion. If someone said that to me, I’d boycott the wedding, even if it was a relative.