Post # 1
One of the GMs (the only one who’s given me any sort of problem – documented at http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/pain-in-the-a-groomsman-ventrantwhatever) asked me on the weekend while tux shopping if he could bring his wife to our rehearsal. I know it’s still 5 months away but I want to nip this in the bud asap before he, or anyone else, gets any ideas.
Normally I wouldn’t care who comes to the rehearsal though I do think it should be kept to only those involved. We already have 5 BMs, 5 GMs, 2 flowergirls (one with ADHD who is a handful already), 4 parents, DOC, minister and decorator (though we probably won’t have much to do with her at the time) that will be there so I don’t need or want another person. This woman is not a friend of mine, she was at one point until she kicked me out of her wedding party and I had to find out from a Groomsmen, she couldn’t be bothered to tell me herself. She has offered “her opinion since she got married last year” – in a horrible, cheap, tacky train wreck of a wedding – which is aka “unsolicited advice.” She has found a way to worm into other events like a bbq for wedding party where we did not invite significant others and my bridal shower that I made a point not to invite her to but somehow she got the info and accepted.
None of the other bridal party have asked if they can bring their partners and if they do I will be telling them the same as this Groomsmen and his wife will get. It will be yes or no for everyone, not just these two. I also don’t want other people to think that because he can bring her, they can all bring someone as well. I’ll have enough on the go that day that I don’t need to be paying attention to 5000 other people. This day is supposed to be special, about us, and I feel having people who don’t have a significant part in our wedding present will detract from that.
Am I being a bridezilla or am I right?
Post # 3
Don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel about her. 🙂
Post # 4
These two just irk me. If I could kick him out and uninvite both, I’d be a happy girl.
Post # 5
My wedding and the wedding I was in before that both allowed people involved to bring their significant others. I don’t see how telling people not to bring their significant others, people special to them, makes it more special to you. I personally would probably be offended. As for the specific girl, I think if you do allow significannt others, you will have plenty of other things going on and wouldn’t have to pay any attention to her.
Post # 6
Maybe its just me but I would never ask to bring a SO to a wedding rehearsal. Wedding, maybe, probably even. I just think there will be enough going on and he won’t be focusing completely on her so whats the point? It should be an hour or so long so why can’t she just stay home?
Post # 7
I think it depends on where everything is taking place – does everyone live locally? In that case I think it’s fine if you don’t invite her, as long as like you said it’s the same for everyone. Just cite size, cost, or role in the wedding. Most of my wedding party is Out of Town so I will be inviting SOs. Since they all have to travel and it’s likely they will travel with their SOs, it seems wrong to make the SOs hang by themselves at the hotel during the rehearsal dinner. But if that’s not the case, then go for it!
Post # 8
I understand not wanting her specifically to be there, but like you said- it’ll only be an hour or so. Personally, I think its rather rude to not invite an SO to anything unless its a one on one activity. For dinner, for a general party, for a rehearsal dinner, for a wedding. I would be quite offended if I was invited to something and told not to bring my fiance.
Post # 9
Etiquette says that you have to invite your Groomsmen and his wife to the rehearsal dinner. You could probably say that you don’t want anyone extra at the rehearsal itself.
Post # 10
I think it’s rude to not invite the spouse of a person in the wedding party. If that happened to be I would be rather upset. I could understand if it were a non serious relationship, but they’re married.
Post # 10
In my circles, it’s very much the norm to invite the wedding party’s significant others to both the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Sorry- the etiquette books say SO of the wedding party are invited to the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 12
I’ve only been in one wedding, granted, but SOs were a part of the rehearsal and the dinner (they stood to the side during the rehearsal, obvs). I figured that was common practice and anticipated inviting the SOs of our wedding party to the dinner as well?
If you really don’t like her, I suppose you can disinvite… but honestly I think you’d be creating more drama for yourself than it’s worth. Either steer clear of her the whole night or simply “bean dip” if she says anything rude — i.e., “That’s interesting. Could you pass the bean dip?” or if she makes a rude comment/say you should do something you never would, simply respond, “Why would I want to do that?” and walk away. Don’t instigate, and don’t allow her to get under your skin.
It’s just one night, and I’m sure you’ll have way too much fun with everyone else to even notice she’s there.
Post # 13
I’d say that it’s polite to invite SOs along, espcially if they need to travel for your wedding. The couple either needs to drive/fly separate or leave one sitting in the hotel room for the evening…no fun. If everyone is local, though, then maybe you can get away with it to avoid her, but I generally assume SOs are invited along to these types of events.
Post # 14
@MissBananaBread: Etiquette says that you have to invite your Groomsmen and his wife to the rehearsal dinner. You could probably say that you don’t want anyone extra at the rehearsal itself.