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Weird, maybe. Particularly if you're having it in the evening when people would normally get food. You don't have to do anything fancy, heck do pizza or barbecue some burgers, but if you are doing it close to mealtime for people-like between 5-8pm, I'd suggest feeding them something. If you schedule it later, or earlier, you'd be fine.
We are having the rehearsal and then inviting all of the guests to meet us at a nice Chinese restaurant. We can't afford to take out the bridal party, spouses, parents, and out of town guests for a second dinner (the wedding being the first), not to mention, there aren't many more people coming to the wedding than would be attending the rehearsal dinner. We just couldn't justify it. Everyone seems happy with that.
Well it's unconventional. We did a lunch instead of dinner to cut costs. I know friends who just did a house party or BBQ which wasn't too expensive....
A friend had a rehearsal and no dinner. I had travelled cross-country for the wedding, was expecting dinner (as were many other people) and was starving. I really think that it's a polite thank you to your bridal party for their time. But if you really aren't going to do it, you need to make that clear to them so they can eat ahead of time.
My suggestion would be to try to save some money somewhere else - a dinner with your bridal party (who you have undoubtably asked to spend both their time and/or money to be a part of your wedding) is not only appropriate, but can be a really great way to spend some time with the people who mean the most to you before all the hoopla of the wedding day starts to go down.
You don't have to serve them a 5-course meal - BBQ, pizza at home, chinese - anything will do, as long as it's sincere and an expression of you thanks!
I agree, you should definitely serve something, but it doesn't have to be big. Otherwise, don't have a rehearsal, not everyone does one. My brother and SIL didn't do one, we just "rehearsed" before the ceremony, obviously they saw each other ahead of time, but that was a way for them to save money. The wedding was on a Friday night anyway, so that worked out well for them.
Lotus524,
We had a rehearsal and no dinner. We had a quick rehearshal and then left to meet other out of town guests at a rooftop wine and tapas bar that had live music. We stayed there for a couple of hours and then everyone broke off to go to dinner on their own.
If I could have hosted a dinner- of course I would have *loved* too. But that just wasn't in the cards.
Just make sure its known- no dinner- so people make plans.
There are some great ideas here - you could have everyone go to a casual bar/restaurant and let them fend for themselves or through a super cheap dinner. A friend of mine had people over to her house and they just brought in spaghetti and salad - just served it out of these big take out tins. I can't imagine they spent more than a couple hundred bucks on the whole thing and it was nice to get together- they didn't even serve wine or beer, but the event served to get a bunch of us together and then we went out for drinks on our afterwards! People who know you will understand if it is not big - but even a pizza fest would be appreciated!
One idea, I'm going to wedding in Hawaii, and instead of rehearsal dinner, they setting up a group outing to a luau. We're all paying for ourselves, but it seems like such a cool thing (and optional) that we don't mind. If you come up with a cool idea, maybe see if your wedding party would be willing to do it instead of say a bachelorette party, etc.
Or you could consider skipping the rehearsal.. Really is it that complicated? Tell people the order they need to be in to walk down. They stop at the end of the aisle - and leave when the ceremony is over. I think the more important part of the rehearsal is the part with the officiant, the attendant part is not complicated. And you could cover that by meeting with the officiant.
Just a thought.... that way no one can be expecting food if they're not invited to the rehearsal. (oh but make sure the readers completely read out loud their readings beforehand - I've heard some bad words from people that didn't rehearse)
i wouldn't recommend skipping the rehearsal but I'm the kind of person that needs a rehearsal to help calm my nerves and whatnot.
that said, if you minimize the guest list to bridal party, immediate family, and just the guest that travelled the furthest, then maybe it is doable?
nothing fancy or even structured. Just head to a place thats less that $10 a head, eat, drink and be merry.
you may even be able to do it for less if someone was willing to grill or cook a simple meal....
those are the options we are considering. We are taking the nearest and dearest to a restaurant where entrees can be had for $7 to $8. it won't be formal..we'll just thank everyone for coming out and then eat. i plan to present the gifts to my bms before hand privately.
My sister didn't have a rehearsal dinner. Her In-laws were supposed to plan one but then plans fell through, and so she decided not to have one. No one really thought much of it. Her rehearsal was at 1pm and afterwards the groomsmen had to go pick up their tuxes, so everyone just went their own ways afterwards and we arranged to meet up at a pub for dinner and everyone paid for their own meals.
I don't think rehearsal dinners need to be that elaborate. For my friends wedding last month, she just ordered in Pizza and ate in a meeting room at the church, her mom baked cookies for us for dessert. It was nice and simple and probably cost $100 tops.
For my rehearsal dinner, my In-laws are hosting it at their house. We are just going to have a backyard BBQ. At first my FMIL was panicking that she had to plan a big party and get catering, but I told her just go somewhere like Costco, pick up some supplies for Hamburgers and a flat of pop and a case or two of beer and that's all you need.
It's more about the people getting together than where you go or what you eat.
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One time as a bridesmaid, the couple instead of having a rehearsal dinner got tickets to a local sports game and paid for us to have hot dogs and pop :) Fun times!
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Lotus524,
You can only do what your budget allows - weird or not, tradition or not. We didn't have a rehearsal dinner, but then again we had our rehearsal the Saturday before our wedding because of church scheduling snafoo's. Afterwards, those who could went to lunch with us. No one really seemed to care a whole lot, because in the end, it's about what you can afford to do. If you feel you just have to have one(the dinner, because I don't recommend you skip the rehearsal), do like some others suggested and scale it down. Pizza, hot wings and beer (for those who drink), or something easy, inexpensive and informal like that.
We are just having a rehearsel dinner/decorating party for ours. We will do a quick run through of the ceremony at the park then we will all go to the reception building. We are just bringing in meat, cheese, vegi and fruit trays along with rolls for our dinner. I'm sure we'll have some beer there too to entice the guys, lol. We'll eat, do our thanks and give gifts then we are all decorating the building. I'm all about multi-tasking so if I can get two things done at once then I'm happy. We are a pretty laid back group so a formal dinner just doesn't suit us and I prefer to save money wherever I can.
It's your wedding, so of course you don't have to have a rehearsal dinner if you don't want to.
we were going to have a "rehearsal dinner" with no rehearsal because we are not having a wedding party so i didn't think it was necessary
...but now that my FSIL is going to be our officiant we are going to rehearse. this is her her time doing it and it's me and my FH first time too so we need to practice.
i think the above advice is solid. good luck!
I've been to a pot-luck rehearsal at the groom's parent's home after the rehearsal before. It was low cost and lots of fun!
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we were thinking of having a rehearsal dinner but not paying for everyone...so just going to a small place and letting people order what they want and pay for it themselves..is that wrong? should we let people know that they are expected to purchase their own meal? i had no idea that we were expected to pay for everything..
Tradionally, the groom's parents are supposed to pay for this, but in my case, his parents are deceased and my parents could not afford to pay for any portion of my wedding (they did give us a $500 engagement gift and will give us cash as a wedding gift-probably the same amount). The wedding party and parents will be expecting that meal to be paid for, but as long as everyone knows ahead of time what to expect, I think you will be OK.
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Would it be weird or uncouth to have a rehearsal the day before my wedding, but no dinner afterwards? Right now our budget is tight, and the idea of planning a rehearsal dinner seems like another burden on my to-do list. Is anyone here having a rehearsal with no rehearsal dinner? Thanks.