(Closed) Rehearsal with no rehearsal dinner?

posted 10 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
48 posts
Newbee

                                           Weird, maybe. Particularly if you’re having it in the evening when people would normally get food. You don’t have to do anything fancy, heck do pizza or barbecue some burgers, but if you are doing it close to mealtime for people-like between 5-8pm, I’d suggest feeding them something. If you schedule it later, or earlier, you’d be fine.

Post # 4
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

We are having the rehearsal and then inviting all of the guests to meet us at a nice Chinese restaurant.  We can’t afford to take out the bridal party, spouses, parents, and out of town guests for a second dinner (the wedding being the first), not to mention, there aren’t many more people coming to the wedding than would be attending the rehearsal dinner.  We just couldn’t justify it.  Everyone seems happy with that.

Post # 5
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

Well it’s unconventional.   We did a lunch instead of dinner to cut costs.  I know friends who just did a house party or BBQ which wasn’t too expensive….

Post # 6
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

A friend had a rehearsal and no dinner.  I had travelled cross-country for the wedding, was expecting dinner (as were many other people) and was starving.  I really think that it’s a polite thank you to your bridal party for their time.  But if you really aren’t going to do it, you need to make that clear to them so they can eat ahead of time.

Post # 7
Member
31 posts
Newbee

My suggestion would be to try to save some money somewhere else – a dinner with your bridal party (who you have undoubtably asked to spend both their time and/or money to be a part of your wedding) is not only appropriate, but can be a really great way to spend some time with the people who mean the most to you before all the hoopla of the wedding day starts to go down.

You don’t have to serve them a 5-course meal – BBQ, pizza at home, chinese – anything will do, as long as it’s sincere and an expression of you thanks!

Post # 8
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I agree, you should definitely serve something, but it doesn’t have to be big. Otherwise, don’t have a rehearsal, not everyone does one. My brother and SIL didn’t do one, we just "rehearsed" before the ceremony, obviously they saw each other ahead of time, but that was a way for them to save money. The wedding was on a Friday night anyway, so that worked out well for them.

Post # 9
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Lotus524,

We had a rehearsal and no dinner.  We had a quick rehearshal and then left to meet other out of town guests at a rooftop wine and tapas bar that had live music.  We stayed there for a couple of hours and then everyone broke off to go to dinner on their own.

If I could have hosted a dinner- of course I would have *loved* too.  But that just wasn’t in the cards.

Just make sure its known- no dinner- so people make plans. 

Post # 10
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

There are some great ideas here – you could have everyone go to a casual bar/restaurant and let them fend for themselves or through a super cheap dinner.  A friend of mine had people over to her house and they just brought in spaghetti and salad – just served it out of these big take out tins.  I can’t imagine they spent more than a couple hundred bucks on the whole thing and it was nice to get together- they didn’t even serve wine or beer, but the event served to get a bunch of us together and then we went out for drinks on our afterwards!  People who know you will understand if it is not big – but even a pizza fest would be appreciated!

Post # 11
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

One idea, I’m going to wedding in Hawaii, and instead of rehearsal dinner, they setting up a group outing to a luau.  We’re all paying for ourselves, but it seems like such a cool thing (and optional) that we don’t mind.    If you come up with a cool idea, maybe see if your wedding party would be willing to do it instead of say a bachelorette party, etc.

Post # 12
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Or you could consider skipping the rehearsal..  Really is it that complicated?  Tell people the order they need to be in to walk down.  They stop at the end of the aisle – and leave when the ceremony is over.   I think the more important part of the rehearsal is the part with the officiant, the attendant part is not complicated.  And you could cover that by meeting with the officiant.

Just a thought…. that way no one can be expecting food if they’re not invited to the rehearsal.  (oh but make sure the readers completely read out loud their readings beforehand – I’ve heard some bad words from people that didn’t rehearse)

Post # 13
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

i wouldn’t recommend skipping the rehearsal but I’m the kind of person that needs a rehearsal to help calm my nerves and whatnot.

that said, if you minimize the guest list to bridal party, immediate family, and just the guest that travelled the furthest, then maybe it is doable?

 nothing fancy or even structured. Just head to a place thats less that $10 a head, eat, drink and be merry.

you may even be able to do it for less if someone was willing to grill or cook a simple meal….

 those are the options we are considering. We are taking the nearest and dearest to a restaurant where entrees can be had for $7 to $8. it won’t be formal..we’ll just thank everyone for coming out and then eat. i plan to present the gifts to my bms before hand privately.

Post # 14
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

My sister didn’t have a rehearsal dinner.  Her In-laws were supposed to plan one but then plans fell through, and so she decided not to have one. No one really thought much of it.  Her rehearsal was at 1pm and afterwards the groomsmen had to go pick up their tuxes, so everyone just went their own ways afterwards and we arranged to meet up at a pub for dinner and everyone paid for their own meals. 

I don’t think rehearsal dinners need to be that elaborate.  For my friends wedding last month, she just ordered in Pizza and ate in a meeting room at the church, her mom baked cookies for us for dessert.  It was nice and simple and probably cost $100 tops.  

For my rehearsal dinner, my In-laws are hosting it at their house. We are just going to have a backyard BBQ. At first my FMIL was panicking that she had to plan a big party and get catering, but I told her just go somewhere like Costco, pick up some supplies for Hamburgers and a flat of pop and a case or two of beer and that’s all you need.  

It’s more about the people getting together than where you go or what you eat. 

Post # 15
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2007

One time as a bridesmaid, the couple instead of having a rehearsal dinner got tickets to a local sports game and paid for us to have hot dogs and pop 🙂  Fun times!

Post # 16
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Lotus524,

 You can only do what your budget allows – weird or not, tradition or not. We didn’t have a rehearsal dinner, but then again we had our rehearsal the Saturday before our wedding because of church scheduling snafoo’s. Afterwards, those who could went to lunch with us.  No one really seemed to care a whole lot, because in the end, it’s about what you can afford to do. If you feel you just have to have one(the dinner, because I don’t recommend you skip the rehearsal), do like some others suggested and scale it down. Pizza, hot wings and beer (for those who drink), or something easy, inexpensive and informal like that.

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