(Closed) Rehearsals, dinners, all that

posted 10 years ago in Jewish
Post # 3
Member
6 posts
Newbee

When my brother and sister-in-law got married, the rehearsal was something like an hour before the ceremony and (with the help of the DOC) the ceremony went off without a hitch.  Who’s standing under the chuppah with you?  At my bros’ (and at mine coming up), just the bride, groom, parents and rabbi stood under the chuppah.  With no one getting up to do any readings and with the bridal party processing then going straight to their seats in the front row, there really wasn’t much choreography to the ceremony at all, so it was pretty easy.

Maybe just typing up a list of the order of things for everyone and having a little chat with all involved the evening before would set your (and their) minds at ease?  

I feel you on the control freak thing 🙂   

 

Post # 4
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

We’re planning to do a quick rehearsal (without the Rabbi) on Friday afternoon and then having Shabbat dinner with just those involved in the ceremony.  The Saturday before will be the uf ruf and a lunch for family and we’re not having a big rehearsal dinner.

I’m sure you can just do a quick rehearsal on Friday afternoon if everyone is available, or Saturday before the rehearsal dinner.  Good luck! 

Post # 6
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

The manager at our venue (and our day of coordinator) are running the rehearsal with us!  You can do a lot without the rabbi present

Post # 7
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Yep, our DOC is running the rehearsal for us. In fact, I’m not even sure we’ll invite the officiant to the rehearsal dinner, given that she won’t be running the rehearsal. That just seems strange for her to come all that way and not do the rehearsal (she doesn’t do rehearsals). I would let your DOC walk you through it, if she’s done a Jewish wedding before.

Post # 8
Member
48 posts
Newbee

I feel you on the confusion about how to time things.  I love the tradition of not seeing my fiance the night before the wedding, so we are going to try to have a rehearsal during the day at our ceremony site, then a rehearsal luncheon with family and out of town guests.  In the evening we will separate until we see each other at our ketubbah signing the day of our wedding!

Post # 9
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

My Rabbi is not coming to my rehearsal only because he is in such high demand!  I am meeting with him beforehand, we are making a play book and we will rehearse from it, Anything else you are asking for trouble!  PS the tradition of not seeing a fiancee the night before is not a jewish one!  

Post # 11
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I believe it’s an Ashkenazi custom to spend the week apart–Sephardim sometimes arrive at the wedding together. 

Post # 12
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

To GorgesViola I think we are confusing "jewish custom"  "commanded to do so" in the Torah, Yes my rabbi talked to me about he and his wife being in the same room and people the whole night saying oh look this way or oh dont look that way.  Sounds like a lot of fun but not going to happen for me.  Anyway Orthodoxy is not the gold standard-I tell myself that almost every day.

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