(Closed) rehersal dinner

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
46263 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Etiquette has nothing to do with inviting OOT’s to the rehearsal dinner. It is a personal choice and fairly recent at that.The only people who should be invited are the members of the wedding party, their SO’s, and immediate family. How far to extend the definition of “immediate family” is again a personal choice.

A rehearsal dinner can take any format from BBQ in the park to formal plated dinner.

Post # 5
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

You can definitely do a BBQ in the park and I think it sounds like a great idea. I know people who do pizza in their homes and I know people who have no rehearsal dinner at all (aka me). 

Post # 7
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think it’s a great idea! That’s what we’re doing too. My future in-laws are going to host a crab feast type thing in their backyard for our rehersal dinner.

You sound very sensible–don’t let your family talk you into anything you’re not comfortable with!

Post # 8
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think a BBQ in the park is a great idea.  I don’t think rehearsal dinners need to be formal or fancy, that’s what the wedding is for!

Post # 10
114 posts
Blushing bee

My question is, “Who is doing the work and/or paying for the rehearsal dinner?”  Some people would rather pay to go to a more formal venue so they don’t need to prepare a meal and clean up the day before the wedding.  Others enjoy the activities surrounding entertaining and would not mind the added work.  At first I wanted to take care of the rehearsal dinner myself at a rented home near the site, but I have now decided to use a local restaurant so I can enjoy the wedding weekend festivities.  I love an idea of informal rehearsal dinner/bbq.  If the wedding site was near our home, and I could cook and host at home, that would be my plan. 

Post # 12
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@honeybeelove:  We have decided to not have a rehersal dinner for our wedding. My parents won’t be too happy when we tell them as its seen as traditional my family as well but we just don’t want to spend the money or have the added stress. My Fiance’s Family will be coming from out of the country and we decided to just have a parents dinner/gathering so our parents can talk without having the added stress of having a bunch of other people around since there is a language barrier.(our wedding itself is pretty small along with our wedding party)


If you don’t want to have a rehersal dinner or can’t afford it you don’t have to feel presured to. I think your idea of an outside BBQ at a park is very thoughtful and if its a setting that some people may not enjoy they don’t have to attend if they don’t want to.

Post # 13
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We are just doing costco lasagna at one of the cabins that we’re renting.  DONE.  I think a BBQ at a park would be fun. 🙂

Post # 14
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012 - Watch tower lodge, Black hawk state Park Rock Island, IL

were doing ours at the parish house (mansion) owned by my aunts church. its rented out for dinner parties and my family does our big family christmas there every year. but we are doing the big family style frozen lasagnas( im cheap and cant make homemade lasagna to save my life) and garlic bread and salad for our rehearsal dinner, and the grooms cake for desert 🙂 it can be whateever you want it to be! we were going to do a bbq but weather around here in October is tricky….

Post # 15
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow, My Fiance has been in 3 weddings… and I haven’t been invited to a single rehersal.

Post # 16
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think bbq in the park is a great idea!  You’re right that it’s nice to invite Out of Town guests, but as PPs have said, not required.  We are attempting to do a hybrid– Rehearsal Dinner with just the wedding party, dates, and parents, and then meet our Out of Town guests somewhere else for a drink.  About 95% of our guest list is Out of Town.

Incidentally, we are also doing bbq, but at a private room in a restaurant.  It’s going to be over $1k for about 40 people.

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