Post # 1
We’re having a small, family only wedding – no more than 15 people – on the beach. While we opted to do family only wedding for cost reasons, we really wanted our friends – who have become like our family – involved some how. The majority of them have also not met our families, and we were hoping to invite them to a pre-wedding, bbq on the beach. Since the bbq will be held the night before, it can be looked at as a rehersal dinner. That’s where the problem comes in: Is it tacky to invite friends to a event the night before, but not invite them to the wedding? It’s more of a get to know you picnic than a rehersal dinner, since our families have also never met each other.
So, thoughts on whether to invite friends to an informal, bbq the night before the wedding, even though they’re not invited to the main event?
Post # 3
Honestly, it does seem a little odd. Kind of like when your invited to the shower, but not the wedding. It would make more sense to me to have a bbq after the wedding has taken place, maybe after your honeymoon…similar to how a lot of destination brides throw a big party back home after a small wedding abroad. But you know your friends best, if they won’t be offended and this is the best option for you then go with it.
Post # 4
I think it is a great idea! I had a friend who had a small intimate wedding (10 ppl) – but she still had a bachloretter party (just going out to some bars/ clubs) and a rather large shower (40 ppl). Personally, as her friend, I thought it was really great to be able to celebrate this exciting time in her life with her. I would have been dissapointed if there had been no way to do that.
I think a BBQ is great because it is not calling for presents, and gives a chance for everyone to meet your family and celebrate. Your friends will likely know that your wedding is very small, so won’t feel slighted for not being invited (its not like some friends were invited and not others). I say go for it!
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2007 - Bride's family summer home in the Adirondacks
I think it sounds great! As long as you don’t call it a rehearsal dinner, and don’t reference those words at any point. But having a big bbq get together in honor of the wedding sounds like loads of fun, and I don’t think anyone can be offended if they know the wedding is going to be so tiny anyway. If anyone asks, I’d just say "no, we are not having any rehearsal dinner; instead we’re doing this" so it’s really clear to both your friends and your family that it’s just an entirely unrelated event, that just happens to fall on the same night that many people choose to have rehearsal dinners.
Post # 6
We are getting married in Sept, but my one bridesmaid is throwing me a shower in June so the day after the shower we are having a bridal party/parents/family picnic at my mom’s…..so everyone can get to know everyone else
COuld you have a get together several months before the wedding????
Post # 7
I have a friend who threw a big reception two nights before their much more intimate wedding. (Rehearsal dinners aren’t a big deal in the UK so they didn’t have one, but this was pretty similar)- I thought it was great that they included more people this way, and I didn’t hear anyone feeling upset that they weren’t invited to the "main event." I’d say GO FOR IT. Especially since the wedding itself is so small, there’s really no risk of hurting some people’s feelings because they aren’t included in the wedding itself.