(Closed) Reimbursing my MoH.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I would not say anything about how you hope she uses the money. I would just send it to her with a note that you’d like to pay her back for the dress she bought and will no longer need. Leave it at that.

Post # 4
3264 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t ear mark the money in any way.  It’s hers to do with as she sees fit.  Maybe that will be to come to your Destination Wedding, but maybe not.  It’s her decision.

I also wouldn’t just send her a random letter.  I would have a heart to heart conversation with her.  I would be put off to get a letter from my BFF with a cheque. 


Post # 5
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@vitani88:  I agree you should phone her instead of write a letter, but I don’t think it’s a terrible thing if you mention it to her that it could potentially help her with travel expenses if she still wanted to come.  I’d hate for her to take the cheque as a hint that you were dismissing her from your wedding, you know?  Just make sure she knows you still want her to be there.

Post # 6
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Definitely agree that you should talk ont he phone/face ot face about it. A letter seems distant to me, for some reason. Its just not an open forum for you two to discuss it and see wheres shes at and what her options are, as far as she sees them. And I also agree that she might somehow take it the wrong way and almost feel like shes being paid not to have her feelings hurt that things didn’t work out! I just think the situation can only be made better with increased open communication :] I hope it works out for you both! 

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