Post # 1
So I have not dated a lot so had some questions. I am currently dating my second boyfriend ever (23) and we are both working professionals. We have been dating for around three months now and we get a long great! We spend almost every weekend together and have already been on two mini vacation trips together.
He buys me gifts and pays for our meals, and we are always going out and having fun. Things are good, though I am a little worried about a few things.
He refuses to list me as his girlfriend on facebook. :/ Seems silly but it kind of bugged me that he refused my request. When I tagged us in pictures together, he would never approve them to be on his timeline. Only recently I got pissed about it and made him approve them. Also, when I comment on his page he always answers other people but ignores anything I write. And if we take pictures together, he only uploads the ones that I am not in.
Again sounds silly, but I get the feeling he is trying to hide me? I am always open and honest about him to everyone, but I feel like he doesn’t want people to know about me. He also asked me to introduce me to his friends, which I did, but he still won’t introduce me to his?
He use to constantly bring up his ex girlfriends, until I got pissed and yelled at him to stop. He finally did. :/ And now sometimes he talks about how he wants travel and work abroad, and when the opportunity comes up at his job, he will take it and leave because he has nothing tying him down. He mentioned before we started dating that he was looking for long term, serious relationship. But sometimes he says things that don’t really match up with that statement.
These comments kind of confuse me. I am not sure if he really likes me and is serious in seeing where this goes, or if he is just having fun.
Any advice? lol. Again, new at dating, so not sure if I just worry about stupid stuff or not! Maybe it’s too early for anything more?
Post # 3
He’s definitely trying to hide you and his relationship with you. Dump him.
Post # 4
Don’t waste your time on this guy. Even if nothing shady is going on, he doesn’t sound like he’s all that invested in the relationship.
Post # 5
He isn’t looking for anything serious. Stop wasting your time on him.
Post # 7
I don’t mean this to be upsetting but is there any chance you are the “other” woman? Could he be seeing someone else? Any chance that he sees you more as “friends with benefits?
Just because you are “new” to dating means nothing– you still know how to be treated. I am a firm believer in actions speak louder than words. He may say all kinds of stuff but what a person does shows so much more.
Post # 8
I hate to say it, but I’m sorry, I agree with pp.
Post # 9
I hate to say it, but I’m sorry, I agree with pp.
Post # 10
It definitely seems a little odd….but some people really don’t like to post a lot of their private lives on facebook. Is he a more reserved kind of guy? I would try sitting down with him and *calmly* try and explain how these things make you feel. Have an honest conversation about both of your expectations. If they don’t match (and it seem likely that they might not…) than it’s best that you’ve figured it out this early on.
Post # 11
@jubial: If you started getting noticeably annoyed about this stuff early (and 3 months is kind of early actually) then maybe you are just scaring him off. I had a rule about facebook – I would not post anything about a relationship until I was at least 6 months into it. I caved after 4.5 months with my current SO, and listed myself as being in a relationship with him, but at that point I had the feeling he was the one!
My reason for this rule was that I didn’t want to be in-and-out of “Facebook official” relationships, and I don’t think you can really tell how permanent a relationship will be until you’ve been together a while.
If my SO (we’ve been together 2.5 years now) had started whining and nagging me about his lack of public facebook presence on my page a month or two into our relationship, I probably would have thought twice about pursuing a relationship with him.
So for all the PPs saying that he’s definitely being sketchy, there is a chance that he’s like me & just wants to know your relationship is the real deal before making it totally public.
Post # 12
@jubial: Has he told you that you’re his girlfriend? Indicated that he wants to be exclusive And not dating anyone else? If he hasent said these things then you are probably pushing for more than he wants to give.
If he has said those things then his actions are inconsistent with his words. When that happens, ALWAYS pay attention to the action which here indicates that he’s just having fun. If he’s “hiding” you on Facebook and not integrating you into his life by introducing you to his family amd friends, then you’re probably not his girlfriend – at least not a serious one.
Post # 13
The Facebook stuff could go either way. Some people are very private about Facebook. I feel it’s kind of juvenile to constantly be changing your relationship status and constantly posting couples pictures.
What’s really important: are you meeting his friends? You see each other every weekend, so are you going to parties together, meeting up for dinner with his pals? Are you being introduced to everybody as his girlfriend? These are the real measures of how seriously he is taking your relationship.
Edit: I just reread the OP and he won’t introduce you to his friends. Wow. Just wow. Something is not right.
Post # 14
I was going to say some people have a fb acct but don’t use it or care to have personal stuff posted but since you said he’s active on it I hate to say I agree with pp’s that he’s hiding the relationship. After3 months he should know where he is with you and have no problem with people in his personal life knowing about you
Post # 15
This sounds like multiple men Ive unfortunately had experiences with in the past. Gosh, this situation sounds so eerily familiar. Leave his behind! A man should be proud to show you off, seriously! When a man acts this way, its because he is non-committal, and does not /is not ready to claim you officially as “his”, because he wants to leave his options open, or doesnt want to get serious.
An ex of mine never liked me posting pics of us up on social media-and we were together for years. The only time he approved was when he thought other men were trying to speak to me romantically.
Current FI couldnt wait to tell the whole world I was his. I am currently in his profile pic, and he is proud to tell everyone I am his. This is what you deserve OP. Please don’t settle for less.
Post # 16
@jubial: Also, how old is this guy?