(Closed) Relationships changed since asking friends to be bridesmaids?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper

@mrs-v-to-be: yep! same thing happened with me.. but on a slightly larger scale. Long story short, my BM and god mother to my daughter was living with “me” aka FI (I am in FL they are in CA right now) .. and FI asked her to move out a month after she was there.. and well I took her out to lunch to talk about it and she seemed fine.. then told her mom that I kicked her out on the streets.. her mom then spread that rumor and it got back to my family. Her family (and I know this is not her responsibility) were very disrespectful towards me.. calling me names etc. and said BM did not even acknowledge my mother and grandmother when she was in their presence (very disrespectful towards my family in my culture). So, I decided I did not need her in my wedding, or in my life. We are no longer in contact though I see her boyfriend (very nice guy and always very sweet) and sisters from time to time.

Post # 4
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Someone told me I would lose friends in the process of planning my wedding/getting married. I thought it was ridiculous at first but truth me told it has happened. People that I thought were near and dear to my heart made some of the most disrespectful hateful comments ever. Most of it stemmed from jealousy but it made me see them for who they really were!

Post # 5
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

The same thing happened to me, and I’ve seen it happen to others. It seems like in your case (and in most cases) it comes from jealously. Is this bridesmaid single? Is she engaged but on a strict budget? She may worry that her wedding won’t be as nice as yours.

Post # 7
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sadly, this is true for a lot of people in the midst of planning a wedding.

My best friend was supposed to be a bridesmaid and make my cake…  she’s not even coming.  I understand she lives a thousand miles away and has a husband and kids, but don’t tell me you’ll be there and then not.

Another old friend is a bridesmaid.  She hasnt been able to send an rsvp card back, lied to me about having a dress for weeks when she didn’t, hasn’t made her hotel room reservation even though she said she has (I work where my wedding is and sell all the weddings and room blocks so it’s not like I can’t check) and didn’t come to my bridal shower or even rsvp for it.

It’s definitely frustrating, and all I know is once it is her turn to be married, she’ll understand. i will continue to be as good of a friend to her as I always have, but it is sad.

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, I don’t think mine have at all. I guess I am lucky to have some really awesome friends!

Post # 10
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

you know, i wonder how much of the “bridezilla” stereotype actually stems from the skewed perspective of this jealous bridesmaid type?  i mean, don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some brides out there who have a screw loose, but the term gets thrown around so heinously, that i wonder if this is actually propogated by jealous girlfriends…just food for thought.

Post # 11
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@FutureMrsSitler: haha, we are both still a ways out yet though….plenty of time for the tides to change!

Post # 12
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Mrs. Meowerson:  That’s SO true.  I’ve planned/coordinated hundreds of weddings.  I’ve only had one real Bridezilla…. but I’ve had PLENTY of awful, nasty MOH & Bridemaids to deal with along the way 🙂

Post # 14
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have 5 bridesmaids, but it started out with 6. One is my awful sister who I don’t even want in my wedding but my parents do. One is my fiance’s sister but shes 16 so we’re not too close. One is my cousin who’s 10 years older than me, but she’s always been like my big sister. Then I have my friend from highschool. we haven’t been too close since highschool, but she came home lsat summer after graduating from college and we reconnected our love for each other, and although shes going to school in Pittsburgh now, we still make a point to talk and see each other. I have my friend who went to school with my sister since kindergarten but we were never really friends until we started working together after I graduated highschool. I quit that job in December because I didn’t really need it anymore (I worked there for 3 years fulltime and went part time after I started at the daycare). She started working at the daycare with me, which is great because we still see each other, but she works night, and I work mornings, so we really don’t talk as much as we used to.

Finally, theres the girl I quietly kicked out. She and I also worked together at that other job. She kind of pressured me to ask her after I asked my other friend, because we were kind of like a group. Last september, she transfered to a college in another state. We made plans to look at bridesmaid dresses a few weeks after she left. When she came back, she brough 3 of her friends with her. I didn’t know these people, and quite honestly, I thought it was rude that she would bring them with us to a personal outing with my bridesmaids. I told her not to come because we’d go next time shes in town. She and I never made plans after that because she told our other friend that she would be so busy over christmas, plus she was bringing more friends home. I haven’t really talked to her since September, except on Facebook. She messaged me and said something like “Sorry i didn’t get to see you. If you still want me in your wedding, I’d love to be there”. I said “it’s up to you. if you’re going to be too busy, I’ll understand.” And that was the end of it. So, she hasn’t gotten a dress, she hasn’t been in contact, and she’s out.

 

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