Remarriage in a Catholic church?

posted 3 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@pinkrose23:  If you didn’t get married in the church last time and didn’t get it convalidated later, you probably haven’t been married as far as the church is concerned. I would talk to your priest and explain the situation and see what he says. If you were married in the church before, there is no way to get married without an annulment. The best way to figure this out is to just go have a nice long chat with your priest and see what he says! I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to help you with your upcoming marriage 🙂

Post # 4
Member
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@pinkrose23:  If you had a Catholic wedding the first time, then the only way to get remarried in the Church is to get an annulment.  That’s pretty much the rules.  Until you have an annulment, you’re still married as far as the Church is concerned.  Talk to your priest about it, but you’re going to likely need to go through the annulment process, or have a non-Catholic wedding.  If your marriage the first time wasn’t a Catholic wedding, then you might be in the clear.  Your priest will know.

Post # 5
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Pretty sure the Catholics aren’t cool with this.

Post # 6
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Mrs_Hammer:  WRONG.  They count secular marriages as a non-sanctioned marriage, but married nonetheless.

@pinkrose23:  There is NO other way in the Catholic church other than to get an annulment by the church.  And to do that, they will need to basically put you and your ex on “trial”.  They don’t grant annulments for just irreconcilable differences.  They want real reasons like fraud, abuse, etc.  It’s really rough.

Hence, my FI and I are getting married in a Christian church that follows closely with Catholic traditions, but is not Catholic.  I am divorced and my FI has never been married.

Post # 8
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@pinkrose23:  If the first marriage was performed outside the church, it’s a quick process because the church doesn’t see it as a sacramental marriage.  You basically send in papers to show the marriage wasn’t performed in a church, easy peasy.  Here in the AZ tribunal that takes about 60 days, it depends where you are though.  But if it was in the church, you’d have to have a reason that the marriage wasn’t entered into sacramentally.  That one takes 18-24 months here in AZ, again it depends on where you are but if you’re thinking to get married anytime soon and the first marriage happened in the church I’d get rockin on that annulment asap.  Good luck!!

Post # 9
Member
3677 posts
Sugar bee

@pinkrose23:  jennmariee is right: what matters in the Church’s eyes is whether or not your first marriage was a sacramental marriage. If it was a civil marriage, then in the eyes of the Church you haven’t been married before God and you will be able to marry in the Church once all the paperwork is dealt with.

If your first marriage took place in (or was convalidated by) the Church, then you would need to pursue an annulment. The annulment doesn’t somehow erase your first marriage; it demonstrates that it was never sacramentally valid. The Church sets a pretty high bar for sacramental validity of a marriage, and it’s not all that easy to attain. It’s very possible that you may have grounds for showing that your first marriage was invalid.

For example, the couple needs to enter into marriage freely and in full possession of their faculties of discernment. If, for example, the groom gets loaded the night before and is hung over on the wedding day, that may be grounds that his judgement was impaired and he wasn’t in a position to make a sacramentally valid marriage. Or if the bride is pregnant and the couple feels pushed/coerced into marrying so that their baby isn’t born out of wedlock, well, that may also undermine their ability to freely enter into the sacrament. Or if a couple doesn’t fully embrace the Church’s requirement about openness to children, and intends to use contraception, that could prevent them from making a sacramentally valid marriage.

Post # 10
Member
562 posts
Busy bee

@KCKnd2:  +1. 

 

It really isn’t a grueling process to get an annulment. And it’s a “Church” annulment, not a legal one. 20 years and 4 kids later, my parents had their marriage “annuled” by the Church. Granted, I’m sure there were good reasons for the annulment, but nevertheless, if you talk to your priest, I am sure he will point out some things in your past marriage that are grounds for a Church annulment. 

Post # 11
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@Bazingau:  Actually, RIGHT. I was referring to sacramental marriage. 

Post # 12
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Mrs_Hammer:  Your advice is wrong, and I’d hate for the OP to get her hopes up from misinformation.

ALL marriages count under the annulment standard under the Catholic Church. My ex and I were not Catholic, got married by a judge, and got a divorce. No Catholic Church will marry you without an annulment. We even took it up to the archdioces.

Post # 13
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@KCKnd2:  See my response above. For annulment purposes, sacramental marriage OR NOT doesn’t matter. No marriage in a Catholic Church without annulment.

Post # 14
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@Bazingau:  “However, if a Catholic enters marriage outside of the Catholic Church without the necessary dispensation, then the marriage is considered invalid and is not recognized by the Church. Moreover, this action places the person in a state of mortal sin. For instance, if a Catholic marrying either another Catholic or anyone else just decides to be married in some other Church or by a Justice of the Peace, that marriage is invalid. While such a marriage may have legal standing in the eyes of the state, it has no legitimate standing in the eyes of the Church.”

This information was from this article. If OP was not originally married in the Church, and then did not get it convalidated through the Church later, it was an invalid marriage, therefore allowing her to have a “valid” marriage in the Catholic church this time around. I’d love to see where your information was from! I think it’s so interesting how things can be interpreted so differently 🙂

http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/religion/re0043.html

Post # 15
Member
3677 posts
Sugar bee

@Bazingau:  Of COURSE sacramental marriage matters. If you were married civilly, then you and your first spouse had what the Church calls a “natural marriage” (i.e. any marriage that has legal force but is not sacramental). Yes, you still have to go through the tribunal and get a declaration of nullity for your legal marriage, if that’s what you mean. The Church won’t sanction a marriage without satisfying itself that the parties are free to marry, and if they have been married before, then yes, they have to go through the tribunal (as I said in my post, “once the paperwork is dealt with.”)

You may have felt that “paperwork” was insufficient to describe what you went through with a tribunal – fine, I take your point. But the process is significantly more complicated if the first marriage was celebrated in the Church (either the Catholic Church or another Christian denomination. The Catholic Church assumes that any marriage between two baptized Christians that takes place under another denomination is sacramentally valid, and subjects it to the same scrutiny that a previous Catholic marriage receives – and that is a MUCH higher bar to clear than it is for a civil marriage.) I’m sure you thought you had a difficult time, but I assure you that the Church applies a much tougher standard to annulling a religious marriage. Even so, a lot of annullments are eventually granted because a lot of couples do, in fact, fail to meet the criteria of full, free, and unreserved consent to all that marriage in the Catholic Church entails.

 

Post # 16
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Mrs_Hammer:  I got my info from the archdioces!  I WENT THROUGH THE PROCESS BECAUSE THE BOARDS – LIKE YOURSELF – WAS TELLING ME IT WAS NO PROBLEM SINCE I DIDN’T HAVE A SACRAMENTAL MARRIAGE.  Unfortunately, this was not the case!  Wanting the Catholic Church to recognize your non-sacramental marriage is COMPLETELY different than trying to get one annulled!

@KCKnd2:  Thank you for the clarification.  I just wanted to make it clear to the OP that she will need an anullment, even if she didn’t have a sacramental marriage.  Glad to hear it isn’t as painful as those that did have a sacremental marriage.  Unfortunately, I could not complete the annulment process without a “reason” like fraud, abuse, not able to consent, etc.  That would have started a nice fight with the ex (who took YEARS to be civil after the divorce), since they do contact him for “his” version, so it was not an option for us.

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