Post # 1
So ladies, this is really just out of interest…
My sister took her own life nearly two years ago (though it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long) and I struggled for a long time to find a way of remembering her in my wedding in a way that I felt I could, for many reasons. There’s still a lot of conflicting emotions, but for the most part I just miss her terribly… so I thought of a positive memory, something far back before things began to slide, and ran with it.
My big sister bought me my very first perfume many years ago, from a high street store that she liked. I loved that perfume – our tastes were so similar, and she was my ‘cool’ sister to boot! So this weekend I went back into that store and although that original perfume doesn’t exist any more I bought a similar one to wear on the day.
It’s so simple, but it does mean everything – some part of her will be there with me (and that’s coming from an agnostic) and despite all the regrets and the wishful thinking I’ll remember her the way she really was. I worried for a while that it was just a bit kitsch and cliche, but I’d much rather have a happy memory than be angry that she’s not there.
So, Bees – have any of you had to do something similar, or felt like you wanted to? What did you do?
Post # 3
My grandpa recently passed and i plan on attaching his ring to my boquet.
Post # 4
My dad passed away the day after my 20th birthday, almost 4 years ago. I plan on attaching a locket to my bouquet with his picture in it. We’re planning on eloping, but if not, I’ll also have a chair reserved in the front row for him.
I love the idea of the perfume in memory of your sister. The people we’re close to should always be involved in our big day, even if they’re not here. 🙂
Post # 5
@Drift_Avalii: You know, I think that’s perfect…it’s personal, it’s special, and it puts her in your heart on that day….I know it’s hard to live those big life moments without the ones that have already passed…I love my grandma, she died when I was 12….so I wore her necklace on my wedding day, and that was just enough to make me feel like a little piece of her, was there with me.
I honestly get really annoyed at memorial tables, and memorial ceremonies, to me those have no place at a wedding…it’s an awkward moment for everyone involved and brings sadess to what should be a happy time.
Post # 6
@Nona99: I completely agree with memorial tables and ceremonies! My family wants me to have something similar for my dad and I just feel like it’s so morbid, almost like another funeral rather than a happy, joyous wedding.
Post # 7
I love the idea of the perfume, that is a wonderful way to carry her with you on your wedding day. I plan to wear one of my grandmother’s bracelets. We also will have a paragraph in our program remembering those who have passed. I have heard of people lighting candles, having a song played, carrying a memento on their bouquet, serving their favorite dessert/meal, etc.
Post # 8
This is such perfect timing for this post. My fiances grandfather just passed away and they were really close. I love the idea of a locket or something with a picture that he can put into his pocket.
Post # 9
My Dad(2/08)and Mom(1/12)are both gone.
I will have a picture of my Dad and my Mom’s engagement ring in my bouquet. i struggled with who will walk me down the aisle. So, they will be with me.
Also, my parents were BIG bird lovers. And I am going to give homemade heart shaped birdseed favors that will be displayed on a tree. People can take them or not.
Post # 10
I was actually thinking about doing a memorial table. I’m sad to hear others might think it’s morbid. I don’t understand what’s wrong with honoring a loved one in this way? It’s not about sadness, it’s about trying to find a way to make it feel like they are there when they cannot be.
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I think that’s a lovely idea. <3 Mr. LK’s parents are both deceased, so I had his favorite photo of them made into a charm on a pin that he word inside of his tux. It was just for him to know about, a simple way to carry them with him. It’s hard when someone so important in your life is no longer able to be there with you to celebrate life’s wonderful milestones, so you have to do whatever works for you.
Post # 12
I did my whole wedding decor around the memory of my mom. She was murdered in 2006 so I am using yellow butterflies in my decor. Colors are royal blue, silver (bling) and the yellow butterfly. Everyone attending the wedding knows what it represents. Here is my wedding website if you want to take a look… http://www.chelleandtj.com
The perfume is also another great idea! Anything to remember the ones you love. I also made a “In Loving Memory” candle set. I think alot of brides do this as well.
Post # 13
Both of my parents have passed and FIs brother was killed in the bush a number of years ago. I am thinking about keeping the front row of my side empty (only child) and having an empty chair in John’s memory. Honestly I don’t know what else to do. My parents were not into photos, so I have NONE of either of them. I am using diamonds out oearrings that they left me for my ring guard/wedding bands.
Post # 14
My mom passed away December 19th; we are going to play Mama’s Song by Carrie Underwood at the reception and dedicate it to her.
Post # 15
@Drift_Avalii: I like the idea of the perfume.
I’ve been struggleing with this and how to honor those that I wish could be there but can’t, namely, my cousin who I lost 12 years ago (like you said it doesn’t feel that long).
Post # 16
I’ll be wearing jewelry from my step mother who passed away in 2011.
I think we’re also going to do a bouquet of roses up at the front. Each rose will be for someone we’ve lost. We’re not going to call attention to them, and unless you know what they mean, they’ll just be a bouquet of roses on display. But it’s a way for me to feel like I’m bringing them with me.