- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Hello- So just need to vent/ seek a little bit of advice from people that rent. My husband and I own a few properties and rent to tenants all the time. However, 2 years ago a friend of mine was hard on times, and we let her rent a room out of our house. (We were not married yet/ not engaged yet)
We charged her a VERY fair price that included utilities. Through out the past two years, she was completely spoiled living with us. She frequently would help herself to our wine, toilet paper, handsoap, paper towels…etc (it was basically like living with your parents and paying a small fee) At times, I would have to tell her that she needed to buy her own toiletries, however I just wanted to remain friends so I never made a huge deal about anything. (I’m 25, shes 32 by the way). She never cleaned, her bathroom was always disgusting, she would always leave lights on…basically just had no idea how to respect someones home. It kinda disconnected our friendship, however I always try to be sweet- so I never really spoke up too much. We were very loving to her and always welcomed her at dinner (even though she rarely joined us) And it was always so awkward, when people came over, because they would make comments on how nasty our guest bathroom (her bathroom) was kept. At first I would clean it, but after a few months- I was not going to pick up after a grown as woman.
After she lived with us for a year- we got engaged, and I asked her to start looking for somewhere else to stay. (We got engaged in June 2011, planned wedding for Sept. 2012). I asked her to be out no later than spring. So she had 9 months to find a place. June/July 2012 came around and she still said she wasnt sure where to go. I told her in July I definitely wanted her out before the wedding so we could come back after our honeymoon and settle in. Beginning of August she said she was moving in with her (Older Rich Boyfriend), well he dumped her and so she was back to ground zero. So she said she would move out by the end of September. At this point, I really started to lose patients- first off, I don’t want someone moving out of my house when I am not there (WE live in CA, however got married in OH where my parents live, and were gone 3 weeks for wedding/honeymoon). She didnt come out for the wedding- which I understand finances, but she was a good friend, and all she had to pay for was airfare- so I was kind of annoyed, but I understood. Second, if she was really my friend, then I don’t know why she wasnt being more considerate of the situation. So when we returned from our Honeymoon, she was back with her Boyfriend or Best Friend and said things were going well and she was planning on moving in by the first of the year (Jan 2013). My hubby had enough and gave her a 30-day notice. So we agreed she would move out middle of November (she paid half month rent). Now that she moved out, and we had to clean up the horrible mess she left (nasty make up stains in the bathroom, re-glaze dirty tile, mildew on shower curtain, broken shelf, soap scummed shower/bath, make stains on carpet)…etc. Like we do with any other renter, we take out the cleaning fees from deposit. She is pissed because she wants her full deposit back (it was $300, we took $125 out for damages and cleaning fees). We actually spent more than that to fix it up and make it look nice again, however Im not one to nickle and dime.
Am I being a bad friend for not returning the full-deposit? To me, i just feel like she needs to grow up and get her own place- then maybe she will understand/appreciate what she had here. Now she is with this guy, who is just taking care of her and he is on us about “you need to give her money back” ….ugh such a mess. I hate drama, I never have it in my life because I always try to please people. What is the best way to handle this?