- 3 years ago
I’m posting anonymously to ask advice about my sister who won’t discuss feelings and never apologizes.
Although we’ve never been close (too temperamentally different), our relationship has been very strained for the past 2 years, since my daughter’s wedding (which she opposed). We have ignored each other except when absolutely necessary. Our parents are elderly (late 80s) and I realize if one dies, my sister and I will have to support the surviving parent. I would do anything for my parents and I know my sister also loves them very much.
I’m having a hard time letting go of the hurt she caused my daughter and her husband. She never apologies for anything. (She has been nasty to me once since then and the other time she was abrupt when we had to interact). As well, with most people, I’d bite the bullet and talk about feelings and we’d probably mutually apologize. However, I know that won’t work with her. (When I sent her an email after her husband left her, her response was “thank you for your concern”). I’m very uncomfortable at the thought of approaching her but it’s evident she’s not going to make any overtures and isn’t fair to my parents to let this situation continue.
I’m considering sending her a birthday card with a note inside updating her on my family and wishing her and her family well. (As I think a more direct approach would backfire badly.)
Has anyone dealt with a family member like this?
How do you let go of the anger you feel over someone hurting your adult child?
Any suggestions for repairing this relationship would be welcome.