Post # 1
Back in January when we started searching for venues, we realized our small budget wasn’t going to get us far. It was hard to find a place that would accommodate a small wedding (under 80) on a Saturday, outside of November-March.
We really wanted a Saturday wedding in warmer weather, and we finally found a venue in May that could accommodate us. Unfortunately it is Memorial Day weekend. If we hadn’t booked it, we would have had to wait until November.
After talking with our parents and really thinking it out, we thought Memorial Day weekend would be perfect for our travelling guests since it’s the long weekend.
Turns out, our friends who are engaged are having their wedding two weeks after ours (they booked first). Woops! It certainly wasn’t intentional and we feel terrible now, but there’s nothiing we could do (and I’m of the mentality that a bride gets a few days out of the year for her, not a year, not a week, two weeks, etc). There have been some passive aggressive statements, but it’s whatever at this point.
Now that I’m trying to secure room blocks, I’m finding that hotels are requiring a two night stay. Ugh! Our venue is going to be about an hour to two hours away for most guests, I think many will want a hotel. This was honestly not something that had even crossed my mind. It’s May, not July! I cringe at the thought of people receiving their invites, reading the hotel block information, and being upset with the minimum stay.
I’m just feeling like we picked the worst possible weekend now :/
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@kmarie719: It’s a tricky situation to have a wedding on a holiday weekend IMO.
With such a small wedding and having it a holiday weekend I think some of your guests might stay 2 nights. I wouldn’t worry about that so much, maybe find out if there are vacation rentals a few groups could go in on together?
As for your friend, I’d let her passive agressive comments go – I have a friend who’s 3 new brother and sister in laws all got married within 6 weeks of each other – their poor parents!!!
Post # 4
@kmarie719: Re the hotel: don’t worry! People will make their own decisions about whether they want to stay 2 nights in a hotel or not. There’s always SOMEthing slightly inconvenient/expensive/whatever about attending a wedding. Most of the time, it’s totally worth it and you think nothing of it as a guest. And if for some reason you can’t attend, you don’t. So really, don’t worry. I think memorial day is a great time for a wedding. I’ve been to weddings on holiday weekends and, yes, hotels can be more expensive, but I enjoy having the extra day off.
Re your friend: again, don’t worry! 2 weeks later is hardly stepping on their toes. They might say they can’t make it, and that’s ok. But you did absolutely nothing wrong by scheduling your wedding after theirs. It’s hard enough to settle on a date without factoring in every one of your friends’ significant dates, etc.
Post # 5
Thanks bees! I think the hard part is that it seems silly for people to stay two nights who only live an hour or two away, but I am hoping a lot of people will just want to make a weekend of it!
Post # 6
Find another hotel. I would already be hesitant to stay in a hotel for a wedding only 1 hr away. Add on the holiday weekend and the two night min and people will leave by 9 pm And stay sober.
Post # 7
Ignore your friend’s comments, that’s just silly.
The hotel thing would be a problem for me though. Is there absolutely no hotel that will take people for just one night? If I lived an hour or two away I would probably drive home rather than book two nights.
Post # 8
I had a semi-destination wedding on Friday night of Memorial Day weekend. It was totally fine. It’s a great holiday weekend to choose for your wedding; please don’t allow others to cause you to be upset about your date. In our case, we were able to secure room blocks at two local hotels, and they did not have a minimum stay. Are there any other hotels, perhaps those a little further away from your venue, that may not have this stipulation?
Post # 9
I attended a wedding on Columbus Day weekend this year and it was wonderful. Granted, I was a three hour plane ride away, so having the extra travel day was very nice. Are you perhaps getting married in a tourisy location? That would be the only reason I could see for hotels requiring a two-night minimum. If so, then maybe your guests would like to stay and extra day and get a vacation out of it.
Post # 10
As a guesst, the hotel thing would definitely be an issue with me. I’m assuming that’s around $300 a room with that minimum?
Are there any other hotels that don’t require a minimum?
Post # 11
My best friend had a memorial day weekend wedding that required me to travel 5 hours away from the beach. They also had a 2 night minimum. It wasn’t my first choice as a guest, but 80% of his friends went. We pricelined/booked directly to get a one night hotel stay. We kept quiet about our preference to do traditional Memorial Day stuff (ie the beach), and all had a good time. Don’t stress, guests will understand.
My FI’s friend got married that weekend too. It was a packed wedding, even with the holiday and 2 nights at DC prices (yes, we did both weddings that weekend, even though they were 6 hours away from each other– you make weddings a priority for close friends!)
a packedAs far as the two week thing, don’t stress about it. It isn’t the same weekend.
Post # 12
The venue itself is not touristy, it’s a country club, but it’s at the base of Cape Cod, so it is almost ‘coastal’. I really didn’t think people headed to the beach Memorial Day weekend, in New England, it’s May! It could easily be 50 degrees that day…
The hotel choices are limited. There are three chains, a Best Western, and two under the Hilton family, all three require the two night stay.
There are about 15 B&Bs scattered around, some require a two night stay, others might not. I’ve tried calling all of them but no one is answering, a lot of places are closed around this time of year (even the Best Western!).
I’ve also advised a lot of people to look into renting beach houses in the area for the weekend, because it’s cheaper than the hotels and can hold more people, but guests need to be doing that now basically, not when the invites go out.
I know when we attended a wedding last year it was about 2 hours away and required a two night minimum, so we drove home, but it was an afternoon wedding with not much drinking.
I can expand the search but other hotels will be 15-20 miles away, I was planning on finding a shuttle service for the local hotels but then it gets really complicated if I’m booking a block at a hotel far away too…I’ll have to keep looking and consider it though.
Post # 13
Oh no…I have the same weekend as you! I hadn’t even thought of this.
Post # 14
I chose Memorial Day Weekend for the same reasons. I didn’t even think about the hotel being an issue :(.
The good news is, there are a lot of little inns, hotels, and bed and breakfasts on the Cape. I bet there will be at least one who is OK with 1 night wedding guests. But leave that up to the guests. Just enjoy your special day!
Post # 15
I have my wedding (also under 80 people) during Memorial Day weekend as well. I’m also in MA 🙂
We managed to find an affordable hotel option that doesn’t require minimum stay or minimum room counts, but it’s a bit further from the venue than I had originally hoped. Turns out there’s a huge soccer tournament in the same town as the venue so most of hotels are booked already.
As for your friend, she’ll get over it. I have a worse situation. My fiance’s friend is also engaged and booked a wedding the weekend before ours (after we had set our date). It just so happens that their wedding is on my birthday, and out of town, so we have to go there overnight. I’m not upset about them choosing the specific day (at all). I’m just worried that I’m losing the entire weekend to get things done. My solution – I’m taking more time off from work before the wedding. I think it’s actually worse for them, the groom is part of our bridal party, so they can’t go on a honeymoon right after their wedding.
Post # 16
@MrsBroccoli: @KateByDesign: agree with these ladies, you absolutely have to find a hotel without a 2 night minimum. My wedding was NOT on a holiday weekend, but a year after we booked it it was announced that a huge conference was in town that weekend, and the hotel we originally made blocks at now had 2 night minimum. So we called every hotel in town until we found options that didn’t require 2 nights. It’s not fair to put that type of burden on your guests.