Reply Card Rant From The Bride- A Must Read For Couples And Guests!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I numbered the back of each RSVP card so that they match up with the number on my guest list. I also filled in the number of seats reserved for them. On my website I also have FAQ about the RSVP and protocal. 

Post # 3
339 posts
Helper bee

unlikely that the guest who dont know this will see it…

Post # 4
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Oh goodness! I am not at this stage yet in my wedding planning but I can imagine how much of a hastle this all must be. I think the numbering idea has been the best thing I’ve heard, but would never have thought of myself.

Post # 5
6674 posts
Bee Keeper

There’s no excuse for not replying promptly and at the very least by your stated deadline.  I do, however,  think your RSVP date was a earlier than standard, so in some people’s minds they may have thought they had a bit more time.  

I agree with the PP that you could have avoided much of your aggravation by pencilling in a number that corresponds to the invited guest.  We did it in an inconspicuous spot inside the envelope, but some people just do it on the reverse side. 

I  totally agree that it is beyond rude to say you are coming and then cut out right after the ceremony or midway into cocktail hour.  It is easier to add extra plates last minute, but once numbers are guaranteed,  hosts will be obligated to pay.  

Post # 6
5769 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It’s better if the couple puts their own address as the return address, making the delivery and return address the same, so that if there’s any issues, the card goes to the couple and not back to the guests. Unless your house disappeared, there should be nothing keeping that card from finding you. And if your house did disappear, then your problems are much too big for weddingbee.

and really as hostesses we need to realize that guests might forget to put their names, might have shitty handwriting, might try to add extra people, etc, and plan to prevent that (online RSVP systems are fantastic for guiding the guests to fill in the form accurately because they’re more intelligent than paper forms), rather than freaking out when someone gets it wrong, you can’t expect 40-200+  people to all fill out a form accurately and consistently without a whole lot of help.

Post # 11
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

This would drive me NUTS!!! Numbering is a good idea! I’m going to use that. 

Post # 12
2694 posts
Sugar bee

You’re preaching to the choir. 

Post # 13
6674 posts
Bee Keeper

EMCasey:  I don’t disagree with you that they had plenty of time and no excuses, since that is what you requested.    It’s just that most people are used to the typical  invitation being sent 6-8 weeks ahead of time  and your  RSVP date six weeks ahead is also much further out than typical. It’s not a justification on their end by any means, but in their heads many of your guests probably  thought  they had additional  time to respond.  

When an invitation is sent that far ahead, even with a STD, the risk you take is that people tend to pile other mail on top, misplace their replies etc. I think that is also why you got so many maybes.  Those were rude, nevertheless.  Also, I’m not sure you can  expect anyone but your closest friends and family members to pay all that much attention to STDs.  Many guests see them, file them away and figure they will see if they can make it when the real invitation comes along. 

I’m not saying any of this is right, just that people are somewhat predictable. 

Post # 14
2467 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

I hear you! There are several people we received no RSVP from at all (thankfully it’s a DW, so they can’t just pop in), and several blank ones (no name, jut a check in the box). I fully intended to number them, but I was about 1/4 of the way through when I realized I hadn’t, and I was on a roll, ha ha. 

Post # 15
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

EMCasey:  What conversations is this going to come up in?  People reading this site are predominantly brides (and grooms), not guests.  Not saying I don’t understand the frustration, but the lecturing tone seems ill-placed when the subjects of your ire aren’t reading it.

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