- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=28176957
Thoughts?
The disclaimer at the end was interesting, because it is EXACTLY how the article leaves you feeling. I guess my only thoughts are that this all makes me sad, and I wish these men would try harder with their wives, especially since their wives are supposedly so perfect.
I always try to tell my husband how much I appreciate him, and that if he ever feels like he is missing something, ANYTHING, to please come to me and talk about it. I hope he does.
I read this as well today. It did make me nervous. These men are so seemingly normal and nothing really seems to be wrong with their marriages just that they are bored. How are you as a wife supposed to combat your husband being bored? Especially the one man who said that he was stepping out on his wife because she wasn't as intellectually challenging as he would like her to be. I don't know how she is suppsed to change that if he does not talk to her about ti.
I just spent the last 30 minutes reading that article. Thank you for posting it as it's likely something I never would have found on my own. I've often been curious about the kind of guy that signs on to AshleyMadison. I think the article did a good job of exposing some of the reasons one of the "good guys" might be tempted to seek companionship outside of the marriage. The blurb at the end from the marriage therapist . . .was almost exactly what I was thinking. It's a good thing to use it as a reminder that relationships take work from both sides. People naturally get bored doing the same thing the same way every day. Relationships need to be freshened and that takes work by both partners.
@farmgirl2106: FYI its not just men.
I scoped out AM after a friend of ours used it to cheat the women are just as skanky as the men.
It kinda makes you wonder how many happily married people are out there :(
Reading that was chilling. I'd never even heard of that site before, but wow, it is really shocking.
@MsBrooklynA: I agree, how do you combat boredom? If the men put in half as much effort into their relationship with their wives as they do creating a profile, taking pictures, emailing and meeting strangers, maybe they wouldn't feel a need to do it.
Wow, that's disgusting. "Have an affair to remember or we'll give you your money back?"
Ive seen the commercials for this website and was always baffled that something like this even existed. Its really sad but I do agree with the statement at the end - we need to care for our relationships/marriages and make sure that each partners' needs and wishes are being met as well as keep it as fun and exciting as possible. This is really sad though and definitely a little scary
I have met many men who cheated on their wives. It is very sad :( The advice this column seems to give, though, is to pay attention to your husband.
John Edwards cheated on his wife because Rielle Hunter said "you're so hot." That is what started their affair. Men need attention and to feel attractive.
But it's a thin line. Are we supposed to put out so they won't leave?
Thanks for linking that article; I found it really interesting, although rather sad.
I have never heard of this site before today. This completely blows my mind.
I am... kind of annoyed by the disclaimer at the end? "Try to be more interesting so you don't have to worry about this." A lot of the women in the article sound like they did that and their husbands still cheated anyway! The young guy who was 28 and talked about a party he and his wife just threw- that doesn't sound like a boring, uninteresting woman.
The problem with the type of man who will cheat is they always think that they deserve freshness and excitement every minute of their lives. They will leave their wives for younger mistresses, and then, a few years into THAT relationship, realize that being with someone, anyone, for awhile will result in comfort, predictability, etc. A girl in your office or a girl you meet online WILL wake up without makeup on, or occasionally wear sweats, or sometimes be less than enthusiastic to give you a blow job. THAT'S JUST LIFE.
I DO make sure I look attractive for FH, because I like to. We have a very active sex life. But I'm not going to break my back for the next 40 years always attempting to be exciting/interesting/thrilling every second of every day hoping that THAT will keep him from cheating. It's not the complete responsibility of the woman to make sure that your husband doesn't get bored with you; he has to attempt to remain engaged as well. I guess that's why the disclaimer bugs me.
@ohheavenlyday: Agreed. What makes me laugh is that women try so much harder than men ever will to keep their interest. As soon as we "drop the ball", we hear shit or they begin looking elsewhere.
@DesireeAnne: Maybe their wives wouldn't be so "boring" if they didn't have to worry about taking care of children, stress about getting back into shape after having said children, and had something to talk about other than their children since they gave up working to stay home to take care of them.
I hate that this blames the women for being uninteresting. Maybe some of these dudes are lame and they want someone to ooh and ahh over their high-school football stories, maybe they never help their wives out so that's why the women don't want to have sex with them, but mostly they need to man-up and take responsiblity that THEY are part of a relationship and if it's not working it could be their fault.
Personally I'd go on this site to meet these men and either kick them in the balls or give them a dose of reality. Okay...rant over. :)
@camrie: Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking, but am too lazy to type all of that out. Hahaha. So, AGREED!!
If I were a more measured person I'd say I agree with Camrie and leave it at that. But I'm not. So I'll say... thoughts?
Fuck them. So you're bored? Your wife probably is too. She doesn't wear lingerie anymore? Whens the last time you bought her flowers, eh? And life has become stressful? Good thing your wife doesn't have to worry about the mortgage and the doctors bills and the parent teacher meetings... oh wait. Grow the fuck up guys. This is life. It isn't always fun. I resent the fact that this article makes it sounds like if their wives were more exciting or less clueless then the guys would stick around. The bottom line is that LIFE CAN BE BORING. Get the hell over it and DO SOMETHING. My grandma always said-- only boring people get bored. Two people can fix the problem here. I think what they really want is to be teenagers again because they can't handle the fact that life isn't all vodka and blowjobs. Grow up.
@CorgiTales: You're 100% correct! This is why us women are so quick to say, "well, if I had only done x, y, and z then maybe he wouldn't have been such an asshole."
I strongly believe that guys seek and crave attention WAY more than women do.
@camrie: and @CorgiTales: Def some of the best posts I've read on here!
Amen, sisters!
@CorgiTales: I concur...being an adult isn't always "fun", sometimes it f*ing sucks.
If my husband needed to be coddled like this I'd be gone, I'm not interested in being someone's ego boost, I'm interested in being their partner.
@CorgiTales: Love the last line. SO true!! When I said "we" in my previous statemnet I meant we as in men and women. But its true that women are the ones who get the blame that theyve put on weight, let themselves go, dont dress sexy anymore, dont give BJs every other day. But where is the railing against the men who dont plan dates, dont offer to help out with the kids, dont make dinner just because. It goes both ways!!
Not only men are on the site. This article is too biased and from one common point-of-view. Bet women would say the same crap about their husbands.
Life is choices. If thrill and excitement is what drives you, more power to you. Sleep with a different woman every night of the week if that's your pleasure. Just don't get married.
Alternatively, you can quit acting like a horny teenager, grow the hell up, and realize that it takes two to keep a relationship fresh and that, as ohheavenlyday said, you aren't entitled to excitement every minute of your life, anyway. Bills and work and kids are stressing you out? Welcome to adult life. Get over it, and get over yourself.
I actually know a couple that met on this site...they are engaged and expecting a baby this summer. Oh, and he is still married. (I actually work with the girls best friend. I have met her, but not him)He's supposedly been separated for years and that is how he ended up on the site. I honestly have no idea why she was on AM looking for a boyfriend. She was a young, single girl so I just don't understand it. Their relationship is really creepy.
The article was interesting, but these guys make me sick. I completely agree with@CorgiTales:
Wow... just... wow. I didn't even know a site like this existed, and it kind of makes me sick to my stomach knowing that it does.
I refuse to take this article personally. It's not that I'm in denial and think it could never happen to me, but I think it's intentionally told from a specific perspective designed to make people like us angry. I am aware that men cheat, good men and bad men. And I"m aware that society is unfairly accepting of this, almost encouraging in some cases. There is a total unfair double standard where men are allowed to cheat (according to society at large) for reasons outlined in this article like bordeom, commitment phobia, etc. But I don't think the response should ever be us wives accepting the fact that our husbands were just bored and it's ultimately OUR fault. No. They took vows and they need to grow up and do the adult thing which is communicate how they're feeling and be more proactive about preventing infedility either by themselves or us, their loving devoted wives.
@CorgiTales: Exactly true. Well said!
I think this (from the article) sumed it up perfectly "It doesn't much matter what he says. Nobody will ever be the only one."
@CorgiTales: "life isn't all vodka and blowjobs".
Man I wish we had signatures on this website, because that would be mine.
Love it!!
@Bostongrl25: Oh well...I hope they don't let their impending nuptials interfere with their membership to the site. :) Crazy story though.
@panterapeach: haha that would be hilarious. we could make it into a bumper sticker?
@CorgiTales: AMEN sister! You hit the nail on the head and I agree with every single word in your comment!
I must be living under a rock, because I didn't even know that this site existed until I read this article.
I don't know if we were supposed to feel any sympathy for these men mixed in with disgust, but I can only muster up the latter. As previous posters have said (and said much better), what the hell makes you so damn special that you deserve to have someone else devote their every waking moment to making your life exciting and thrilling and the fairy tale you want it to be, lest you cheat on them? Where does this sense of entitlement come from?
I'd love to know how these guys who thought they weren't doing anything wrong would react if they were ever to find their wives were on the site too.
I also found it completely disgusting that some of these assholes were showing off pictures of their kids to this woman. Skeeved me out.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 71 |
| beargoose | 42 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 41 |
| akp0702 | 41 |
| Mrs.KMM | 40 |
| ndreighton | 38 |
| stardustintheeyes | 33 |
| Gemstone | 31 |
| MrsPom | 31 |
| BetterSherm | 31 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| NVACat | 3 |
| KatNYC2011 | 2 |
| bostongirl27 | 2 |
| MsMonkey | 2 |
| AmuseMeMusically | 1 |
| Sasha2011 | 1 |
| SouthernGirl | 1 |
| aprose | 1 |
| bookworm88 | 1 |
| KatyElle | 1 |
