(Closed) Reporter goes undercover on ashleymadison.com

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

The disclaimer at the end was interesting, because it is EXACTLY how the article leaves you feeling. I guess my only thoughts are that this all makes me sad, and I wish these men would try harder with their wives, especially since their wives are supposedly so perfect.

I always try to tell my husband how much I appreciate him, and that if he ever feels like he is missing something, ANYTHING, to please come to me and talk about it. I hope he does.

Post # 4
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

I read this as well today. It did make me nervous. These men are so seemingly normal and nothing really seems to be wrong with their marriages just that they are bored. How are you as a wife supposed to combat your husband being bored? Especially the one man who said that he was stepping out on his wife because she wasn’t as intellectually challenging as he would like her to be. I don’t know how she is suppsed to change that if he does not talk to her about ti.

Post # 5
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I just spent the last 30 minutes reading that article.  Thank you for posting it as it’s likely something I never would have found on my own.  I’ve often been curious about the kind of guy that signs on to AshleyMadison.  I think the article did a good job of exposing some of the reasons one of the “good guys” might be tempted to seek companionship outside of the marriage.  The blurb at the end from the marriage therapist . . .was almost exactly what I was thinking.  It’s a good thing to use it as a reminder that relationships take work from both sides.  People naturally get bored doing the same thing the same way every day.  Relationships need to be freshened and that takes work by both partners. 

Post # 6
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@farmgirl2106: FYI its not just men.

I scoped out AM after a friend of ours used it to cheat the women are just as skanky as the men.

It kinda makes you wonder how many happily married people are out there 🙁

Post # 7
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Reading that was chilling.  I’d never even heard of that site before, but wow, it is really shocking.

@MsBrooklynA:  I agree, how do you combat boredom?  If the men put in half as much effort into their relationship with their wives as they do creating a profile, taking pictures, emailing and meeting strangers, maybe they wouldn’t feel a need to do it. 

Post # 8
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow, that’s disgusting. “Have an affair to remember or we’ll give you your money back?”

Post # 9
Member
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow this article is sad.

Post # 10
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Ive seen the commercials for this website and was always baffled that something like this even existed. Its really sad but I do agree with the statement at the end – we need to care for our relationships/marriages and make sure that each partners’ needs and wishes are being met as well as keep it as fun and exciting as possible. This is really sad though and definitely a little scary

Post # 11
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

I have met many men who cheated on their wives. It is very sad 🙁 The advice this column seems to give, though, is to pay attention to your husband.

John Edwards cheated on his wife because Rielle Hunter said “you’re so hot.” That is what started their affair. Men need attention and to feel attractive. 

But it’s a thin line. Are we supposed to put out so they won’t leave?

Post # 12
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Thanks for linking that article; I found it really interesting, although rather sad. 

Post # 13
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have never heard of this site before today.  This completely blows my mind.

Post # 14
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee

This was in Redbook magazline this month…So crazy. And so sad.

Post # 15
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am… kind of annoyed by the disclaimer at the end? “Try to be more interesting so you don’t have to worry about this.” A lot of the women in the article sound like they did that and their husbands still cheated anyway! The young guy who was 28 and talked about a party he and his wife just threw- that doesn’t sound like a boring, uninteresting woman. 

The problem with the type of man who will cheat is they always think that they deserve freshness and excitement every minute of their lives. They will leave their wives for younger mistresses, and then, a few years into THAT relationship, realize that being with someone, anyone, for awhile will result in comfort, predictability, etc. A girl in your office or a girl you meet online WILL wake up without makeup on, or occasionally wear sweats, or sometimes be less than enthusiastic to give you a blow job. THAT’S JUST LIFE. 

I DO make sure I look attractive for FH, because I like to. We have a very active sex life. But I’m not going to break my back for the next 40 years always attempting to be exciting/interesting/thrilling every second of every day hoping that THAT will keep him from cheating. It’s not the complete responsibility of the woman to make sure that your husband doesn’t get bored with you; he has to attempt to remain engaged as well. I guess that’s why the disclaimer bugs me. 

Post # 16
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Interesting read, thanks for the link!

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