- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
OK so I’m a man reallyu hoping to get some advice and help on here ….
I met my partner about five years ago at work, we became close friends and then two years ago we started dating and got engaged in August. She has a little boy from a previous relationship whom i adore and he gets on with me. The ending of her last relationship was hard, he basically walked out, but having had first hand experiance of her behaviour now, i’m not som sure.
We have had a bumpy ride in the last few months ‘splitting up’ four times – the latest last night. The first was over my perceived lack of commitment – in fact I was committed, just going at a slower pace – the second due to her not being sure, then she moved in, then out due to extreme and nasty pressure from parts of her family. This got me down and I became quite depressed. We had planned for her to move back in tomorrow, but last night she phoned to say she couldn’t as she could not cope with my depression and bringing up her son.
Friends say to run a mile as even if we get back again it may happen a fifth, sixth , seventh time. I know we still love each other and I know that I want to keep trying.
This is so so hard that I just don’t know what to do.
We spoke last night, and she says she still loves me and misses me. I’m just a mess. It hasn’t helped that for the past two months we have only seen each other intermittently due to her family interfering and becuase of that we haven’t really spoken or listened to each other – it was always more of a case of hi, quick cuddle then rush on.
Then today she calls me again, sounds really low, doesn’t want to see me, wants me to forget her.
Her mother has not helped in this. Basically she manipulates and controls her daughter, in fact it is pretty much an abusive relationship.
I think if we can speak face to face and just listen to each other it will be fine. Or maybe not!! I love her to bits and she was my best friend before we started going out.
She tells me that she has to put her son first, and that she is unsure that we will have a stable relationship becuase i’m depressed .. but i’m only depressed becuase of the situation we foun d ourselves in after she moved out!!!