Requested a ceremony invite, should I invite her to the reception?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do?
    Invite her to the ceremony only as she requested : (14 votes)
    27 %
    Invite her to the ceremony and reception : (34 votes)
    65 %
    Not invite her at all : (2 votes)
    4 %
    Other (please explain!) : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    252 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Hi! I would invite her to the reception also. When she said “Only invite me to the ceremony”, she was really being polite and wonderful, but to invite her there, and not the reception, would just be odd. If she is getting ready and traveling to the church, she cares for you, and should be invited to the party, as well. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2454 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would wait and put her on the B list. I would invite her to the ceremony informally, and then send her a formal invite as soon as someone RSVPs no. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1013 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @ohmybears48:  +1

     

    Although, if she is not going to know anyone, and won’t have a +1, maybe she would actually prefer to just come to the ceremony?

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    9892 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Traditionally, the ceremony in a church is open to anyone who wishes to attend and the congregation of that church.  I know that has changed in recent years.  If she wants to come to the ceremony I don’t see anything wrong with that.  I’ve been invited to the church portion only before and I was never offended.  Really – the church IS the wedding and that’s what it’s all about.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1754 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would invite her to the ceremony and tell her she can come to the reception if there’s room – she sounds like she’d understand

    Post # 9
    Member
    3934 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’d invite her to the reception too – it is so touching that she has been supportive of you all along, personally and professionally.  That’s a wonderful story!!  

    Post # 10
    Member
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would feel really bad if I asked you for a ceremony invite (which would be what I meant–I understand space and finances may be limited but would love to support you) and then you invited me to the reception.

    If my student teacher got married (I am a mentor teacher too) I would love to be able to be there for her ceremony but if she invited me to her reception I would be really concerned that she felt like she had to since I used to be her boss and that I was inconveniencing you and forcing it. I wouldn’t feel weird at all just coming to the ceremony exactly as I asked to.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @KatieScarlett:  I would invite her to the reception without a plus one.  It’s more thoughtful to invite her to both the ceremony and reception. My guess is she has attended events alone before if she is single and will be fine.  If she in uncomfortable coming alone for any reason, she will RSVP no to the reception. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I live in a very Catholic area and it’s not uncommon for someone to only go to the ceremony if they weren’t invited to the reception. If she’s older, I’m sure she gets that not everyone can be invited to a wedding. I’ve actually been surprised to be invited to some weddings. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think if you can possible find the room, it would be nice to invite her to reception as well.

    However I do think there are occasions where it’s ok for a ceremony-only invite. I know of a few times where my family have known other families for years but for budget etc, have been welcomed to come to the ceremony.

    I think as long as everyone is clear about what the invite is for, it’s ok. I was at a wedding recently where some guests who had a ceremony-only invite rocked up to the reception. Luckily there was a spot to squeeze them in!

    Post # 14
    Member
    361 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @KatieScarlett:  Don’t invite her to the reception!  As one poster pointed out, this is common for a Catholic wedding.  Some people get ceremony invites (to the point that sometimes the wedding is open to the entire parish), and others get ceremony + reception.  I’ve gone just to ceremonies before, and I loved it!  She is NOT hinting at a reception invite.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1015 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    You sound very close, so I would invite her to the both the ceremony and the reception if you truly want her there. I don’t think you should feel obligated to invite others because you’re inviting her- you have known her for longer and have a special relationship due to your student teaching experience together.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My personal opinion is that if you invite her to the ceremony, you have to invite her to the reception as well…even if she doesn’t go.  If you think she might end up wanting to go to the reception, i would put her on the B list and send an invite if you have the space…but I feel like you shouldn’t invite her ONLY to the ceremony.

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