(Closed) Requesting Guests Wear Certain Colors?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Requesting guests wear a certain color?
    Sure! I get it! : (22 votes)
    15 %
    How tacky. NO! : (120 votes)
    85 %
  • Post # 3
    7904 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    @whowhowho:  There is no polite way to tell adults what to wear.

    Post # 4
    2605 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @whowhowho:  I vote no.  You’re already asking these people to spend time and money to attend your destination wedding.  I would be annoyed if I were  told I also had to wear certain colors.  There are only so many hoops I’m willing to jump through to attend someone’s wedding.  When they’re totally arbitrary – I start to get cranky. 

    I assume people will dress nicely for your wedding so your pictures will look like exactly what they are – a bridal couple and their guests. 

    Post # 5
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @whowhowho:  You could put on your wedding website something like guests are encouraged to wear festive black, white, and red attire.  Maybe some will and maybe they won’t.  It gets it out there that you’d like it but you really can’t dictate what people wear.

    Post # 6
    1846 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My guess would be you’d end up with 90% of your guests in black. Most people won’t wear white because it’s not a typical color guests wear to weddings, and a lot of people don’t own or won’t wear red because it’s too flashy. So almost everyone will wear black. So then it’ll look like a funeral with a bride and groom in the middle. 

    Let them wear what they like, that’s what is supposed to happen.

    Post # 7
    1657 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I would also not like the prospect of travelling to a wedding only to be told what colour to wear.

    Post # 8
    9917 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    What about giving each guest something with your colors in it?  You could give the men boutonnieres and the women…I don’t know, the female equivalent…a coursage?  

    Post # 9
    1293 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    @Zhabeego:  +1. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I didn’t even know people dared to tell guests how to dress until my friend told me about a wedding she was attending where they had to wear floral print dresses (which she hates). I mean, c’mon. We are grown ups and know what to wear to a wedding.

    Post # 10
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    That is probably where I’d draw the line for a destination wedding.  Travelling and putting out all kinds of money to get and stay there is enough without having to buy a new dress that matches your colors.  And personally – black, white, and red are the three colors I don’t wear because I look terrible in them without a really good tan (which is something else to spend money on just for your wedding).

    The only people you can somewhat incfluence are your mothers.  Maybe.  Mine ended up one in bright blue and one in black because that’s what made them feel good. 

    Post # 11
    3825 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @whowhowho:  I get what you want to do here. I’ve seen it done tastefully but typically when people are holding their wedding on New Year’s Eve or something like that. 

    With 35 guests, you should be able to pull it off. I would probably call everyone to get a sense for how they feel about it. 

    Post # 12
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Overly matchy-matchy guests will look kind of dorky in photos.  It will look better having your guests wear what they want to wear. 

    Post # 13
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I wouldnt call it tacky, I would call it annoying and possibly obnoxious. Its one thing to do a theme party at your house its a whole different ball game for a wedding where “just any old thing in that color” does not work because it has to be an appropriate dress.


    Post # 14
    6328 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @whowhowho:  Honestly, I don’t think there’s any polite or proper way to do this. I’ll be honest and say I don’t really ‘get’ couples who request that guests wear certain colours, and as a guest, I wouldn’t be overly impressed being told what to wear.

    However, if you want to do it, and I agree that at least most people will have things in those colours (so it isn’t as bad as requesting they wear, say, purple), I would get word out by word of mouth that your colours are white, black and red and you’d love it if they wore something (even a piece of jewellery) in those colours, but no worries if they can’t. As a guest, I’d be much more likely to get on board if they asked like that than if it was, say, ‘suggested’ on the invite.

    Also be prepared for women to wear white dresses esp if it’s hot, and don’t be offended if they do.

    Post # 16
    8042 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @whowhowho:  I think you’re overthinking this. I think that they already have to pay to see you get married, so you should let them wear what they want. What if a few people already bought outfits especially for the wedding? I’d be really ticked.

    As far as photos go.. I am not sure I understand your comment about a group of random people with a bride and groom in the middle. They’re wedding guests… wedding guests usually aren’t coordinated. And they’re people you care about. Who would think they’re just random people? Lol. Some stranger who happens to see a wedding photo of yours?


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